Two weeks ago....I noticed my man was reading literotica. Then later asked me if I wanted "to be tied up" 
which meant he had some pent-up desires to release. I said "No...when you read stuff then want to include me 
it doesn't feel it's ME you want" 
And in my self-counselling manner I came to the realisation that since he told me about the dressing in stockings, 
and wanting to suck cock.....and not having trust in him anymore that anything he says is true.....I decided I no longer want to have sex with him, knowing that since the reveal of his secret....I've had an STI check every 3 months....so
It's...ME....he's put on a knife edge....and why the fuck should *I* be...!!! 

So that's my "coping strategy" at the moment. It's a big step for me to take, but I feel within myself that it's the right
thing to do. I haven't told him how I feel or even why I've rebuffed him, but neither is he asking  "what's wrong?" and though I want him to....ask me what's wrong.....the longer he doesn't....just makes me feel like the physical 
side of our r'ship means less and less. 

Fuck...fuck....fuck..!!!