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Dear OutOfHisCloset: I so much appreciate all the posts you have shared. I realize this is an old thread but there is so much crazy making stuff going on for all of us here on this forum, that really important posts get lost in the cesspool. I have had to create more than one profile, so that (s)he will not be able to tell who I actually am if (s)he stumbles across this forum and looks for "me". I've been advised time and time again by veterans of this site to not put in words, too much identifiable information. I eventually will be able to settle on a forum "name", once I am not physically at risk to get the $h1t beat out of me. Sheesh. Signed, woman with battered wife syndrome with more than one alias to avoid getting found by (s)he on this site. What a sad, sad, pathetic soul I have allowed myself to become. Ugh. Much love to all of you who find yourself reading this and other posts by me and all of us.
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All i can say is that your not alone. I live with that same fear of getting the sh-t beat out of me too. Stay strong, know that you matter, and i hope you find yourself free and happy someday soon.
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Snookered,
Thanks for your appreciation, and I'm glad this post speaks to you and your situation. I've pulled back lately from posting, as apparently some consider that I come on too strong (and disable other voices) and am too negative about the chances of MOM's succeeding. I have been wondering whether to delete all my posts, but have hesitated, knowing how much I've benefitted from others' posts. It's such a hard road we all travel, whether married to GID, closeted, newly disclosed, cross-dressing, or self declared "bi" or "trans" partners.
I finally was able to bring myself to read Christine Benvenuto's "Sex Changes," about her husband's gender dysphoria and so-called "transition," and I was bowled over at how much of her partner's self centered, off-center behavior I recognized in my own spouse.
I am on the brink of being able to tell him I'm through (one more week and I'll have the timing set), and I am champing at the bit and having to tell myself "keep it shut, stupid," so that I don't tip my hand.
Keep on keeping on, fellow shit-storm troopers (as Sham put it),
OOHC
Last edited by OutofHisCloset (October 14, 2017 9:27 pm)
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Hi OOHC,
I have pulled back too. I remember the first time I responded to a new poster - all I could say was some of the more experienced posters would be able to offer advice because I was overwhelmed by the emotional pain - my own being triggered. The next time I did better and then I got one of these head-turning posters - the ones that say help and then bite you for offering it.
You live and you learn. And I was still posting but now I feel like reality is being undermined.
Too many people see the same thing - mixed orientation marriages don't work - including Sean, so that is the same view from both sides of the fence. I am able to be sensitive to posters who are in the early stages of discovery but not able to go along with the fiction that they do work.
all the best, everyone.
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Snookered,
Not pathetic. I see a brave person who is doing what you need to to survive.
I remember taking a yoga class because it was entitled "brave" for people that had or were going through trauma. I had to tell them that I was not brave..that I was scared and afraid. Only now over a year out have I stopped shaking.
A sincere prayer for you for strength and fortitude.
Last edited by Rob (October 17, 2017 5:54 am)
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Courage / bravery isn't the absence of fear. It's plowing forward despite it.
Kel
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Im going through it too. Finding out about all his tranny/auto...long ass word... for his behavior, im drawing a blank (mind blown) has me on the edge of insanity. I just want to thank all of you here cause you really really help. Thank you