brooksey,

It's never someone's sexual preference that is so disturbing. It's when they hide it and destroy others like this that is. We took them at their word when they married us. The trouble is they lied. Who would love a liar? That's not a trait any of us would opt for. Honesty and integrity are wonderful traits. He doesn't possess either. Let him go because you love YOU and your dogs.  You will survive this and come out so much better off. YOU DESERVE IT. 

I too am concerned about Brooksey. Does anyone have the ability to try to reach out to her privately?

I think we all private messaged her but no response.  I just hope she’s ok.

I called the hotline last week and tried to get into an outpatient program, but there are none in my reasonable geographical area. I spent one day in the hospital but had to leave because there is no one to watch my dogs.

I appreciate what all of you have said. I believe I need a different kind of help. I might try to get back into a crisis support group. I understand you’re saying the pain gets better. But better isn’t gone.

I am not/was not codependent. My husband and I brought out the best in each other. Obviously he was living a lie about his sexuality, but I made no great concessions to him aside from the formal wedding I didn’t really want to have. None of what happened is my fault, and I am not blaming myself for what he did to me. I had no input in that decision. I have been on and in treatment for depression for years.

I was alone before. I can do it. That doesn’t mean I want to again. It is worse now, because I have lost my ENTIRE support system. I feel a little like my hopelessness is being demeaned or belittled as my being weak or cowardly. Please, in your mind, think of everyone you love. Everyone- friends, family, children, parents. Now, wipe them off the earth. That is my reality.

I am happy for those of you who have found new love. That is not my reality. I do not go out. I do not want to. I don’t enjoy spending time with people here, and I cannot move without losing my job and my health insurance. The only time I meet anyone new is at work, and I do not let my private life overlap with my professional life. The one time I broke my own rule, ended in horror.

I will not meet anyone else. I do not want to be alone again, even moreso than I was before because I had family back then. Even if I thought he would ever desire a reconciliation and respect whatever that looked like for us (which he wouldn’t), my husband wants nothing to do with me. It would be irresponsible for me to adopt more dogs, because I could be paralyzed or blind tomorrow. I wouldn’t even have anyone to help me get to a phone or the ER, let alone adopt my babies. I also think it would be irresponsible for me to continue in this group, because others who this has happened to deserve to have hope, and they will find none in my story.

Brooksey,
So glad to see you here.  As Phoenix has said it certainly is your choice whether or not you choose to continue posting here.  I would ask that you don’t decide immediately.  Keep this in your back pocket.  You might change your mind about a lot of things.

Regardless, we are all thinking of you and wish you well.

Majenco