larssongirl:  Here are the shelters in your area (below)   Call one.  Many will allow you to bring your dog.  Many shelters have arrangements with local hotels and homes to house people who cannot enter the shelter for a multitude of reasons.  The important thing is that you have a safety plan.  

He will continue to deny, and the harder it gets, the higher the possibility is that it will not end well.   These shelters will be able to help you find alternate housing if you choose not to enter the shelter.  They also offer counseling, usually on a sliding scale.  

Your smoke has turned to fire now.  You know what you have to do.    Trust yourself.  His words will only continue to harm you and open up old wounds.    I'm not sure if your current counselor has a background dealing with domestic violence and sexual assault.  It's important they understand your dynamic, your past assault, and help you combat situations in a way that is healthy for you.  

I think it's less important that you have passwords on your phone or computer, than it is that you feel like you have to check his internet history to learn the truth.  You already have the truth, and it totally sucks. If he can grab your phone and read your messages while you are out of the room, why isn't that reciprocal?  You know why it isn't.  

I agree with JKPeace, your writing is very clear.  Trust yourself.  You can do this.  Keep posting, we are all here for you. 

Here are the shelter numbers:  Please note, Super Bowl Sunday was always the busiest day of the year when I worked our hotline.  For whatever reason, this day incites violence.   Don't give up. Keep trying until you can see someone who will help you and can understand your unique situation. S.A.F.E. (Blairsville) 800-334-2836Circle of Hope (Cornelia) 706-776-4673Project Renewal (Rockdale/Newton/Walton Counties) 770-860-1666

I wish you peace.  Keep posting. 

"I'm bi." The analogous situation for trans spouses is "I'm multiple."  Which is supposed to mean, both woman/man.  But then you start to see that when given a chance "multiple" always means "woman" (although a stereotypically feminine and misogynistic version of woman).

Larsongirl, you need to take care of yourself, this man is not safe. He is a narcissist, whether he means to be or not is irrelevant. You need to make a plan, even if only baby steps, and stick to it. I am glad to see that with everything that you have been thru you are willing to make positive changes, but if you don't think he knows how to manipulate you I think you are wrong. From one survivor to another, cover your butt.

The people here are great you will love them, some of us are a little more tough love types, most of us are on a rollercoaster, today I am tough love.