Rob wrote:

You might want to have the talk without them?  Unless you feel unsafe..

Rob...no I don't feel unsafe. But I know that if I have the talk with my partner only it will be swept under the rug, he'll keep it to himself and to be honest....I need the support and attention (in whatever form that takes) of my two youngest....to stand beside my partner's propensity to dismiss, evade and gaslight.

E

 

Elle, I just checked in here for the first time in a long time, mostly hoping to see how you are doing.  This is just so, so hard ... you know we're all here for me, and feel free to contact me if you need to.

MJM017 wrote:

.....That's a good idea with a passive aggressive person. I'd suggest taking notes for this meeting with your kids and stbx and email them to yourself for a date/time stamp. It'll keep your memory fresh if the stbx does his usual thing.  Sorry if a repeat.

 
MJ... I'm not sure about noting stuff down but. I've been writing a script for the last week... in my head.
Because my daughter was away for the weekend my plans to do it yesterday were dashed. So I want to do it tomorrow when she's home. I think I can get them both here without having to tell them why.

I had a good cry this morning. Something I don't let myself do often. I'm doing lots of deep breathing

E

Abby wrote:

Wishing you strength and a good outcome.

 
Thanks Abby 😘

Anon2222 wrote:

I keep meaning to comment my support as well! I've been around for several years now. And I am so happy for you. You're a step ahead of me in the fact that I have not yet spoke to a lawyer (although, do you have to have a waiting period before applying? Here I am stuck for a min of a year where we have to not be a "couple" before we can even begin the process of divorce....so I still have like 9 months to go)

 

Thanks Anon....we haven't been a physical* couple for 3 years now and this is what I said to my lawyer, because *I* thought that meant something. Apparently not. It's obviously something legalese that I haven't been told yet...like I can't be living with and supported by him to be considered 'not a couple' I dunno! 
I'm just putting one foot in front of the other and trying to focus on what's happening, and important in front of me on the day. Like today....I go to the bank and get a printout bank statement, email my lawyer and ask "what the fuck do I do now?"....then, with my son, confront...yikes!...have a conversation with his father.

It's 6.50am here. I've been awake since 2.30am. I feel like shit....lol

E