Victo wrote:

Sex was a huge part of our life together too. I had a healthy libido. It was great. But I'm a woman, you're a man, and we approach this differently. I'm willing to give up that physical enjoyment because my heart told me it was the wisest thing to do for me. But it seems like you're lead by your head and your maleness (and with those two things....more than a little bit of anger/aggression?) and they're all telling you damn it!... this isn't/wasn't fair and that you have to stay angry about it because......why do you have to stay angry Victo?

I concluded that being angry....about all this....would only hurt me, only be a detriment to my recovery and it was far easier to live my life and make decisions without the thought of the person and what he'd done to tilt my whole future impacting it. Do you meditate.....do any calming exercise....have a men's support group you could join?

What were you like as a man before all this Victo? Did she have this much power over who you were back then as she does now?

Elle
 

again Elle, I have a different take on the anger thing - it all comes down to the person, and many of us have said that feeling angry gave us the strength and energy to save ourselves.  Certainly that was my experience - feeling a good clean rightful anger can be challenging but it is creative and can really help.

And anyway, what you're feeling is what you're feeling - it's what you've got on your plate.  Meditating to in effect disassociate from your own true feelings is not a long term solution, it is a useful tool in the short term for sure.  But over the long haul it is to lose touch with yourself, isn't it?  Certainly, that was my experience.

I’m angry because I gave my best self to a malignant narcissist who made my very best self feel completely worthless in order to temporarily salve her own broken soul.

I’m faced with the fact that women only want me for what they can TAKE from me. 

And in all the dating I have done, this fact isn’t changing.

So… inner peace?  Isn’t that just another kind of masturbation?  A self service? 

I’m not seeking inner calm.  I want the relationship I tried to build.  I want sex snd intimacy and possibly more kids - this time in a loving family.

None of that is happening.  Am I angry as a result?  Or is my anger the cause?  This is the only place I feellike I can even begin to express my anger, so from my pov, the anger is a result of being used and abused by women for so long.

When I found out that my ex boyfriend was gay, I felt shock, hurt, and yes anger. I think anger is an emotion most of us have felt when we found out. I promise you that you will feel less and less anger. I am holding a good thought for you.

Lily-  Your experience scares me to my core.  The idea that there are more GID narcissist monsters out there… who can even listen to your experience and simply view you as another target -  it shakes me.