Jamie, wise about counselling and not medication for your daughter.  Teen plus breakup plus mum coming out plus school hassles - its a lot, anger and confusion and grief are to be expected and should be acknowledged and not medicated away.  Be the sane parent, let her know you are there for her - keep doing what you are doing.  You've got this.

Gloria wrote:

So sorry about your lesbian wife. I do not believe in spanking but your daughter needs to learn that she cannot act in that manner. I would punish her somehow. If you can, divorce the lesbian. She does not deserve you.

 

Wow Gloria....your comment is just so wrong.
Punish a teen who has so much going on in her life at the moment? No....simply no! 

Elle
 

I never spanked my child but used other forms of punishment. If this young lady is in public school, she will be punished for bad behavior. If she is old enough to break the law, she may go to jail. I feel sorry for her and am so very glad my child was not put in that situation.

so this just about sums her up at the moment.
its her birthday next Saturday and she asks me what we are doing for it, i reply i don't know as she has ignored me for most of this year and does she actually want to do anything with me, a few days go by and then yesterday she says "oh lets get a take away" so i say ok then she adds after that she's off out on her own.
I am getting better at letting it wash over me and now i have kitted out our spare bedroom for me instead of sleeping downstairs her coming home at whatever time doesn't affect me so much as i try to be asleep.
But i am still shocked on a daily basis by her, we were talking about her moving out after the divorce and her breath taking selfish attitude is quite something, straight away not caring about our daughters welfare and wanting to make firm week on week off custody as "she wants to be able to go out" i said to her i would be happy if daughter wants to stay with me full time but until shes settled i am not going to tell her which house she has to be in, i am happy with agreement to have her with me but i feel i am doing this from daughters point of view where as stbx is more concerned with her own lifestyle.

other gems from this conversation were around holidays she works in education i do not but i always take my holidays in school holidays, i said i was planning a boys holiday to europe for a week (in school time) and she got the right arse, she really doesn't seem to get that what she has started also has a few upsides for me as well, i am lucky in my job i get a fair bit of time off so it wouldn't impact my time with the children during holidays but she didn't like that i could go during term time on holiday, totally selfish...

she also got funny discussing the family holidays where we drive to her home country (it takes us about 24 hours from Calais and i love doing it and being there) i told her i would happily take the children to see my mother-in-law without her, i didnt feel i should exclude myself from her family as i have done nothing wrong (although neither of us speak each other language but we have enough to point and comunicate through broken language and gesture) but i have family affection for my mother in law and my bother in law and his fmaily just constricted by language but both my children spreak the lingo so i have help. it wasnt that she wanted me not to go she just got funny that i said i would happily go without her.

Last edited by jamieblunt (November 19, 2021 4:01 am)

I have a feeling that this "stbx is more concerned with her own lifestyle." is something you will encounter quite heavily until everyone is clear on the new normal. Week on/off is a good starting framework but there needs to be some allowance for illness, work travel, vacations, extended family visiting, and things like that. Maybe allow for up to three requests per year to exchange weeks for anything other than the most dire emergencies?