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July 27, 2021 2:56 pm  #11


Re: What if your child was the deceitful one?

I 'thought" I had a good relationship with my MIL. Just like I "thought" I had a loving husband. NEVER NEVER in a million years did I think he was capable to lie, steal and cheat. And this behavior of his is also I shock to himself. "He" would never cheat, but in discovering who "she" is, apparently "she" had to sext nake pics to married men to discover "she" preferred men over women. Why "she" didn't have the audacity to wait till this marriage was over to discover this is beyond me.

He told me these "men" took advantage of  "her". I said really? NO ONE can take advantage of you by texting to take off your clothes and take pics. YOU had to have WANT to do this.

When MIL found out about these "pics", he told her I went on dating websites as a form of validation that these men would desire me as a transwomen. How conviently did he forget to say I took "naked" pics??

For 2 months while he staying at MIL house since I would not let him come home, she thinks my talks with him exhaust him and leave him emotionally drained. She doesn't see that he's doing the manipulation and tell her half truths.

When he finally told her he took "exchanged" photos of himself and that should could read in between the lines on what those photos were (he tries to sugar coat his deceit and never used teh word "naked"), She just sat there and cried. Apparently her response was "I know we all make mistakes and no one is perfect". She finally realized hanging up on me when I screamed out he was looking to have sex with men on dating sites not validation, that's when she heard enough and screamed for him to hang up the phone.

I need to distance myself from her, but it's ashame. Literally 2 weeks before this all happened, I promised I would take care of her. I told her I would give up my family and my job to move in with her as she got older. Her son would remain on the East Coast for work and then would come visiit his mom and wife. He would have peace of mind that his mother was taken care of. That's the person I am. Now they can all flounder and take care of each other but they don't know how!
 

 

July 27, 2021 3:12 pm  #12


Re: What if your child was the deceitful one?

LostAtSea:
   About your offer to look after you MIL and give your spouse the peace of mind knowing she was looked after.  You threw your pearls before swine.  Not they can root in the mud.  And they can do it knowing that they had an alternative.  That is your satisfaction and your vengeance: that they will have to live with their own actions.
  The saying "not my monkeys, not my circus" is one I saw here first.  It was helpful to me to repeat as needed when I found myself thinking about my now-ex and his bad choices and their consequences, to remind myself that the person I needed to give my thought, time, and care to now was myself.  

 

July 27, 2021 3:14 pm  #13


Re: What if your child was the deceitful one?

OutofHisCloset wrote:

LostAtSea:
   About your offer to look after you MIL and give your spouse the peace of mind knowing she was looked after.  You threw your pearls before swine.  Not they can root in the mud.  And they can do it knowing that they had an alternative.  That is your satisfaction and your vengeance: that they will have to live with their own actions.
  The saying "not my monkeys, not my circus" is one I saw here first.  It was helpful to me to repeat as needed when I found myself thinking about my now-ex and his bad choices and their consequences, to remind myself that the person I needed to give my thought, time, and care to now was myself.  

I totally agree. Thank you OOHC! Did you see my resposne to your post from "What are the odds"?

     Thread Starter
 

July 30, 2021 1:49 pm  #14


Re: What if your child was the deceitful one?

 I offered to show them the texts where other women said they loved her and wanted to carry her baby. No...they weren't interested.
^^^
I’d want to see it, just to see if another human being could actually be that delusional and frankly creepy! What the actual fuck?

They say that blood is thicker than water, but they know. In their hearts they know what has happened is wrong. They can’t be seen to be too sympathetic in case it looks like they are taking sides, but they themselves won't ever fully trust them again.



 

Last edited by Ordinary guy (July 30, 2021 1:51 pm)


And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly that which is essential is invisible to the eye.
 

July 30, 2021 3:13 pm  #15


Re: What if your child was the deceitful one?

LostAtSea wrote:

apparently "she" had to sext nake pics to married men to discover "she" preferred men over women ...
He told me these "men" took advantage of  "her". 
 

Married men?  Did "she" care about what all this did to their wives?  If "she" truly wants to be female, "she" should learn how to be a little more empathetic.  And take a 30% pay cut, too.

 

 

July 30, 2021 6:20 pm  #16


Re: What if your child was the deceitful one?

LostAtSea,

I had to endure high drama from my then STBX.  This delusional soap opera was the most painful part of the divorce. Am sure it was anger directed at me for leaving his closet.

Your divorce will be final soon. You'll never have to put up with their shenanigans again.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

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