Hi
I am posting here because I am trying to make my relationship work. My partner has described himself as Bi in the past and has had hookups with men before we got together but my main issue now is an ongoing correspondence ha has had with a woman. 8 years ago when my partner was married, he had a passionate affair with a woman that ended abruptly when she lost her son. They remained in contact via a special gmail just for them that I discovered recently. This is what I would call an emotional affair; their correspondence is full of "I'll never forget you", "love you still", "we had something so special", hearts etc. His engagement in this dwindled as our relationship began but he did remain in contact even though his comments are more platonic. My problem is that he concealed this for a year and he chose to lie to me in response to a direct question about being in contact with anyone he had an affair with in the past and if any of these people were in town. He made the choice to lie knowing that I have past issues with lies in relationships that have caused me trust issues. I can't get past the feeling that he chose to conceal that relationship in order to keep it rather than choosing honesty with me. I feel second priority, second best, it has cut me deeply and I have told him so. He says he is committed to me, that he doesn't know why he lied about it and he has apologized and written her at my request to tell her about us. If someone lies about an emotional connection outide the relationship, with a man or a woman, how can they be trusted again? Is there a process we can work through as a couple to get there?

Last edited by Hawklover (February 20, 2021 9:02 am)