Straight Spouse Network Open Forum
This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else. Learn more >>>

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This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. The results from SSN’s Annual Summer Donation Drive are in! Together with your help, SSN raised $16,381 during our annual Summer Donation Drive! That’s 109% of our goal! Learn more about how the funds will be utilized.

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Straight Spouse Network Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to straight spouses and partners who have discovered that their spouse/partner isn’t straight. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.


Happy New Year, Friends!

Our year-end fundraising campaign is officially complete and with your generous help we raised $13,813 to serve straight spouses in need. From all of us at SSN, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts. Your donations allow us to provide important support and resources that straight spouses can't find anywhere else.

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February 24, 2021 6:33 pm  #11


Re: First Timer

Meant2b,

Sorry you find yourself here. I just joined in January after discovering my husband was involved with several men via cybersex. Slowly more came out including a brief relationship while we were engaged and a one night stand while traveling. I can tell you it’s been a whirlwind of emotions. There’s been hope, anger, acceptance, depression...repeat. I had my first session with a trauma therapist today. She recognized that I was exhibiting PTSD symptoms, and I’m constantly triggered since we are still married and trying to work through this (he identifies as bisexual, newly accepting his feelings). My husband is in counseling as well to discover his truth and we’ve been very open. I’ve been a crazy mess though, can’t even sleep still. Today my counselor said something to me that really made me think...well 2 things. She said that it’s like I’m in a boat without sides in the middle of a storm and I’m just trying not to fall in the water, but that I need to realize I’m the captain of the boat and can choose what I want for my life too...it’s not all up to him and his choices. Then, as I was crying about our true love, why is this happening etc...she pointed out that he has been unfaithful since the beginning and that my marriage never was the beautiful thing I thought it was. Which somehow, at least for this moment is making it a little easier to think about losing. Like I said, my emotions are everywhere but I think when I’m apart from him it’s easier to accept the truth. When he’s around I get all confused. I’m in the midst of it just like you so I can’t say I have a ton of great advice, but I can relate. Opening up to a close friend and counseling do help. Take your power back little by little and take care of yourself. It’s a grieving process and unfortunately the only way to the other side is through the storm.

Blessings,
Epiphany

 

March 28, 2021 2:14 am  #12


Re: First Timer

Hi there I'm in a kind of similar situation. 20 years, 2 kids. All new and could never afford to separate. And we are honest and there has been no cheating. But this weekend we move to different rooms, I know she wants to experience sex with a woman I am trying to understand her, because we do love each other, but I don't know how I will ever navigate this ..... 

 

March 28, 2021 9:50 am  #13


Re: First Timer

Lconfused wrote:

Hi there I'm in a kind of similar situation. 20 years, 2 kids. All new and could never afford to separate. And we are honest and there has been no cheating. But this weekend we move to different rooms, I know she wants to experience sex with a woman I am trying to understand her, because we do love each other, but I don't know how I will ever navigate this ..... 

Welcome, and so sorry you have to be here. The revelation that our spouse isn’t who we thought they were is jolting to say the least. You have a head start with no cheating. My husband is bisexual and we had to work through the cheating before we could begin to build our marriage.

You might want to start your own thread/post and tell your story (under “Support “ should be fine) and you’ll get more responses. There will be a lot of people who have been through similar experiences to give you their sides of what they went through and what they did. 

Just to start, if your wife is wanting to experience sex with a woman,it’s something you need to talk about seriously, and if BOTH of you are on board with it, then there are a lot of details to work out (boundaries, what to expect, &more). But, unless YOU are also okay with it, you don’t have to agree to it.

We’re going forward monogamously, as that is the only way I can be in a marriage. Foe me, it’s not a marriage if there’s more than the two of us. (This is just for me. I do not judge others for what they do). It’s been a roller coaster ride, and after about 1 1/2 years, it’s finally calming down. If BOTH of you want it to work, it can, but it takes a lot of open & honest communication. ....and, of course, no cheating.

Good luck. Post that thread & you’ll get more replies 😊. ***** I see you did. Good for you ****😁

Last edited by SusanneH (March 28, 2021 9:55 am)

 

March 29, 2021 6:04 am  #14


Re: First Timer

Thankyou. I might try and update it with a better post when im feeling less heartbroken

 

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