OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+.

For more information about our recent name change, please read our press release or visit our website at https://www.ourpath.org.


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September 11, 2021 9:14 am  #121

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Hi Lilly, if the Search Engine Optimization is done correctly on the website, OurPath should bubble to the top when searching terms, such as your example. It does take time for the web crawlers to build the index though, so a search today still brings SSN to the list. Searching "Our Path" brings numerous other 'Our Path' terms and sites at the moment. (Searching "ourpath' brought me to ourpath.org #1 and ourpath.net #2 - the .net site is an addiction help site.)

Last edited by Daryl (September 11, 2021 9:16 am)

“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer

September 11, 2021 12:30 pm  #122

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Not 100% sure if this is of any help but meta tags might help speed up identifying between the old and new sites: and help people with their search:

Meta tags are snippets of text that describe a page's content; the meta tags don't appear on the page itself, but only in the page's source code. Meta tags are essentially little content descriptors that help tell search engines what a web page is about.

E.g. meta tag in the source code that would be tagged is: straight spouse, straightspouse.org, any other word(s) that would help the search engine bring the new site to top listing when searched.

I never cease to wonder at the cruelty of this land, but it seems a time of sadness is a time to understand, is it mine, oh lord is it mine, when everything is dark ….. Roger Hodgson. 

September 11, 2021 2:51 pm  #123

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

We've just made this site harder to find for a straight spouse and this is because of worrying about being misperceived as anti gay???

It leaves me wondering if we have been rebranded to fit in with a group?


September 11, 2021 3:09 pm  #124

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Hi Lily,

Which group? I'm not following you.

I know you don't mean the unfortunate "straight pride" gang. 👎🏻

No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

September 11, 2021 3:31 pm  #125

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

I'm thinking maybe a therapist's group - sort of like a mini version of Dr Phil.

Or like what happens in academic circles, where it's all about getting your paper referenced by other academics.

The banner is more generic looking.  And the name OurPath gets a lot bigger type than the line You're partner isn't straight?  You're not alone.  which then comes across as more like one of the chapter headings rather than the main title.  

Last edited by lily (September 11, 2021 3:48 pm)


September 11, 2021 3:45 pm  #126

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Lily... How long has this "you must register to post" been a thing?  Is it new?

You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 

September 11, 2021 3:46 pm  #127

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Steve, I've edited my post to say what I want more clearly as that stuff about register to post etc is in little type below the banner.


September 11, 2021 11:56 pm  #128

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Sam (Admin) wrote:

As an organization, we have never condoned or permitted homophobia or gay bashing in any of our public or private online venues or affiliated local meetings or gatherings. It is a matter of perception by others who might otherwise fund us or refer those in our situation to us. I don't like that the term has been co-opted by bigots, and still refer to myself as "straight"...No matter what we call ourselves,  the need hasn't changed and our mission hasn't changed.

I am here to just not be silent on this topic. Please take my tone as one who has lost a great deal and am sick of being silent while things I value are destroyed.

I am straight. My spouse is not. I am NOT willing to abandon a common and very old term because you think it is now "problematic" because the mob of leftists, whose entire political strategy is based on scaring people into abandoning, destroying, supplicating, and weakening themselves, call it so (or that they might). I do not condone changing language to satisfy mewling adults that are offended by everything (reality in particular). The Board's position, abandoning the word just out of deference to the possibility that some leftist mob might take offense, strikes me as pre-emptive capitulation for the offense of being ourselves. There is no good to be gained from such a weak willed surrender.

Secondly, your characterization of the "straight pride" parade event, which was years ago and had no significant place in history or culture, seems completely baseless. Naturally, the media tore it up and down. It was, effectively, just a Trump parade (a President the media despise) which they say as lacking sufficient reverence because it dared to use a word ("pride") that is now on permanent reserve for non-straight and non-white people. Only they may feel pride. The media, which is almost entirely left wing, declares anything they don't want to exist or wish to diminish "racist", "homophobic", "islamaphobic" or some other accusation - usually with zero factual or reasonable foundation. I am assuming you are referring to the ironically organized "straight pride march" in Boston, which had a homosexual as its Grand Marshal (Milo Yiannopoulos). The entire event was a provocative joke, just to panic leftists into a frenzy over nothing - which it achieved easily. The reaction was anticipated because upsetting leftists is like shooting fish in a barrel. Just say - "men can't have babies" or "straight people can be proud" and BOOM - total outrage mob in the thousands to protest a parade that was literally a demonstration of provocation, organized by a made up group - "Super Happy Fun America". Why that name? So the newspapers would all have to write in their headlines about how Super Happy Fun America was "alt right" - when it only ever did one thing - have a parade that said zero bad things about homosexuals and had a homosexual as its key speaker, with a guy in a dinosaur costume at the front. The whole purpose of the parade was to show how easily upset and unsatisfied the American left is. How they cannot allow anyone else to have anything - even a voice. It effectively turned into a Trump parade at the end of things - that doesn't make it homophobic either, by the way. You may despise Trump and think the parade was in poor taste, or violated your personal reverences to certain socio-political objectives, but that should NOT control what happens in this place - A place for straight spouses. What will you sacrifice next?

You should be willing to grant that this parade was a non-event, just a silly joke meant to mock society's outrage machine. If you can, there is no need to back away from the word straight - unless it is actually the left that you fear, not a genuine association with a non-existent homophobic boogeyman. The people at that rally, I promise you, would never encourage you to allow them to take from us the most relevant word in this site's vocabulary. We are straight. I am not ashamed of it. I am not scared to use the term, and not just because I don't give any significance to that parade several years ago in one city by a couple hundred people (who required an army of police to protect them from physical violence). I don't abandon vocabulary to satisfy the unsatisfiable mob or to just hand our language over to alt-right/left political actors. Is this just a bid for more time until the left comes for the site? Are you hoping they won't find us?

I have lost several organizations to leftist ideologues lately - apolitical clubs and associations have been entirely consumed with leftist causes. I am just giving my two cents that this smells of the same mentality that resulted in those organizations (after a few years of this stuff) "updating" or "expanding" (read, abandoning) their purpose and becoming, therefore, corrupt by definition. I am sure it is too late to change course back to SSN. I just wanted to not be silent on this point, out of fear, as this approach is what made this an issue at all.

Last edited by UserNada (September 11, 2021 11:58 pm)


September 12, 2021 5:45 pm  #129

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

It's like having the rug pulled out from under your feet.  I've just read that press release that is linked on the banner.  

Here is the first paragraph.

"When the Straight Spouse Network launched in 1991, their focus was on supporting the straight spouses of people who came out as gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. With the changing and expanding landscape of Mixed Orientation Relationships that includes Partners of Trans People, and more people remaining in their Mixed Orientation Relationships, they have adopted the new name OurPath to reflect inclusivity."

First sentence,  Yes, exactly, that describes my understanding of the focus that was the inception of this forum.

Second sentence - rug puller.  okay so in the first place, this forum was started because there wasn't anywhere in the public arena for straight spouses to get together.  Were there forums for gay transgender and bisexual people?  you bet.  I mean this forum was called straight spouse network.  Put us together.  Let us see the commonalities of our stories, understand our own pain, heal together.  Why do you want to change that?  

As far as I'm concerned The Whole Point is to support the straight spouse.  We have a new young poster.  She says she feels like no one understands the pain she feels and right underneath is someone saying well we do.  we do understand the pain you feel, and to me that's the basic point.  

If you want to run this forum under the banner of an organisation called ourPath I have no problem with that and you can include anything you like but can we please have this forum called the straight spouse support forum or something like that.

The old fashioned term is you can't be all things to all people.  But people being people, there's always going to be a need to be flexible.  So I have no problem with that, it's a bonus really particularly when you get a poster like Sean or Diff (Hi Diff, I remember you), but I do think you need to fly a standard over the forum - a banner that reflects your central concern.

Is it not possible to have one place where the pain of the straight spouse is recognised?  It's not just the pain of deception and betrayal.

It is the worst of it, the vulnerability of the straight in the relationship, it's beyond words.   Being able to talk about the feelings you have and be understood and supported.  That is what can happen here.


Last edited by lily (September 12, 2021 5:46 pm)


September 12, 2021 8:04 pm  #130

Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

I remember Diff too

You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 

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