OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+.


For more information about our recent name change, please read our press release or visit our website at https://www.ourpath.org.


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September 9, 2021 8:02 pm  #111


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Sam,  Would it be possible to remove   "Partners of Trans People"  from the paragraph under the new logo?.  We are straight.
 

 

September 9, 2021 8:35 pm  #112


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Lynne wrote:

Sam,  Would it be possible to remove   "Partners of Trans People"  from the paragraph under the new logo?.  We are straight.
 

This was a bit perplexing to me at first, too...but "partners of trans people" aren't necessarily straight....Ellen (now Elliot) Page's ex-wife, for example. 

 

September 9, 2021 9:29 pm  #113


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

We’re not implying that Partners of Trans People aren’t also Straight Partners. If that’s the term you feel best represents you, then use that term. We were told by many Partners of Trans People that they didn’t feel the term Straight Partner resonated with them, or accurately represented them. They have many names for themselves - Cis Spouses, Trans Widows, Non-Trans Partners, Partners of Trans People, etc. After much discussion, we decided to use the term Partners of Trans People. We wanted to make everyone feel welcome. It is not our intention to offend or tell anyone that they’re not a Straight Partner, or prescribe to them how they need to identify themselves.


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
     Thread Starter
 

September 10, 2021 8:42 am  #114


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

I was never the partner of a trans.  I was defrauded into marriage by a closeted one. I am straight. I got out. The sentence I am referring to doesn't even make sense with "Partner of Trans People" in it.  It says you provide support for partners of trans people who discover their partner is trans.  Would you also say partners of gay people who found out their partner is gay?

And Lyla, there have been people who have posted on this board who were partners of gay people and  they were bi.

Thanks.

 

September 10, 2021 12:32 pm  #115


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Would heterosexual not cover all? As in the heterosexual partner of an LGBTQA+ person. I mean, I know exactly where I am with a heterosexual identity. That is pretty firm and safe ground, anything else is non-heterosexual. The semantic issues may be in the use of the term straight over the use of heterosexual. I have always thought that the use of the term “straight” comes with negative connotations inferring someone who isn’t is in fact “bent”. 


And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly that which is essential is invisible to the eye.
 

September 10, 2021 12:39 pm  #116


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Sam (Admin) wrote:

Having been in all the discussions over the past 2 years, there are many reasons why the name change and rebranding was needed. One of the major reasons was anti-gay groups organizing "Straight Pride" marches. This gave the impression that SSN was an anti-gay organization and was hurting outreach and fundraising. I had many mixed feelings about the name change but came to the conclusion it was necessary. We're still the same organization.

 This is understandable in the circumstances.


And now here is my secret, a very simple secret. It is only with the heart that one can see clearly that which is essential is invisible to the eye.
 

September 10, 2021 1:24 pm  #117


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

re the anti-gay straight pride marches - please don't tell me that means we can't call ourselves straight any more without being considered anti gay!

I have never seen anything homophobic here, to the contrary and I am wondering what you mean Sam, when you talk about an adverse affect?

OG, just read your posts - heterosexual has how many syllables in it?  inevitably it gets shortened to hetero and for some reason that gets conflated with masculine and I'd rather defend the term straight,  I do take your point that bent might not be considered as good but it's gay and straight that are the terms that have been used routinely.  Mind you there's a lot of in denial people who insist on calling themselves straight so maybe I should learn to use more syllables.  That would make this the heterosexual network - doesn't sound right does it...

Last edited by lily (September 10, 2021 1:34 pm)

 

September 10, 2021 3:40 pm  #118


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Lily, 
As an organization, we have never condoned or permitted homophobia or gay bashing in any of our public or private online venues or affiliated local meetings or gatherings. It is a matter of perception by others who might otherwise fund us or refer those in our situation to us. I don't like that the term has been co-opted by bigots, and still refer to myself as "straight". Even though I divorced in 2002 and my ex died in 2012, I will always be a "straight spouse" although that is no longer a source of pain. I moderate this board to help those for whom that situation is still a big part of their lives. No matter what we call ourselves,  the need hasn't changed and our mission hasn't changed.

 

September 10, 2021 4:29 pm  #119


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Part of the snap judgment may be the short attention spans of those who grew up texting.   I deal with young adults in my part-time business.  They don't answer emails which have more than a few brief sentences.  They prefer texting to get information right now.  My niece & nephew do this too.

As well culture wars and populism are here for the near future. Remaining sensitive to that will keep OurPath attracting people of all age groups who need support.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

September 10, 2021 5:14 pm  #120


Re: Amazing changes coming to SSN

Hi Sam,

I understand it is about perception - my question is more who is having an incorrect perception due to name, who is not referring people here and how does that even work - who refers people here at all?  

if we are being rebranded to join a group then why does that have to happen at the expense of the direct route via google and the term straight spouse.  When it was my turn to seek information online I wrote my question into the box - why do straight women marry gay men and the forum for the straight spouses network came up first - which I am so grateful for.

 

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