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- fiddlesticks
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Re: The link between being a straight spouse and sexual abuse in childhood
I was sexually abused as a teenager by my best friend, I now find myself married in a 25 year emotionally abusive relationship. It had crossed my mind that there maybe a relationship between these things, coming across this post is an eye opener. Due to the nature of my childhood abuse, it being my best friend, same sex, and same age, I felt so guilty and scared I didn't mention it to anyone for 11 years until I met my still GID wife, whom I told within a year of knowing her, she was suitably sympathetic, and supportive at the time, but if I have ever brought it up since it has always been a case of 'well we all have our baggage to carry dont we', as a result I have probably never really dealt with it properly. I have recently discovered my wife is having an affair and am in the process of trying to find my own path through this, with much help from you beuatiful people btw. I also spent 10 years following my abuse terrified I had aids, I only saw the boy who abused me once since it happened, probably 4 or 5 years after the abuse, when I met him with the idea of talking to him about what had happened to which his response was one of anger and telling me I knew what I was doing, the meeting lasted less than a minunte and I ran from the bar where we had met, I have never seen him since, but I heard rumours that he was ill, this just fuelled my fear that I might be ill, he stood his to be wife up a the alter and later married a man. I discovered several years ago he had died, I believe of a heart attack. When I met me now wife I went for an aids test as I wanted to be sure I was okay before I commited to a long term relationship, the hospital didn't believe me when I turned up and said I had been raped as a child and wanted to get an aids test, they did take blood, and told me I was okay, so I went ahead and tried not to look back. I often wonder if this knowledge imparted to my wife made a difference to her marrying me, it sounds horrible to even think such a thing, but as I know now the world can be a horrible place, even amoungst those who we fall in love with and whos hands we place our most vunerable self in. I will listen to the pod cast, perhaps it will help guide me in a better direction for my future. Thanks for posting.
Last edited by fiddlesticks (October 19, 2021 4:43 pm)