MJM017 wrote:

Our area will probably be on lockdown until July or August. Am in California & our governor and local jurisdictions are very strict about shelter in place to keep the COVID-19 numbers low.
NZ has moved from Level 4 (everybody at home, everything CLOSED, no contact with anybody not in one's own personal bubble) to two weeks of some shops, restaurants & schools open with restrictions. With a focus on safety rather than what's essential. The deaths from Covid have decreased enough to cautiously move in to Level 2, which allows gatherings of no more than 10 people, and still no drinking establishments allowed to open I keep a diary of where, when and with who I go, to make contract-tracing easy if needed  
Am splitting my time between my own home & driving to my parents home 30 miles away to provide caregiving. It’s stressful because one parent has always had overwhelming mental health issues. My sibling has a milder form of the illness.
This must be so difficult for you. But what a good daughter you are. Are you the only home-help they have?
Mother’s Day was difficult as my parent was acting up and my sibling was emotionally abusive to them & me. They gave my mom a half-dead plant on Sunday out of spite. If I speak up about the abuse from both, I get blamed for causing trouble. Am sure this is why I took abuse from my GIDXH for so many years.
Omg! what did your mother do....say? What a heartbreaking thing to do..!!
Am grateful to be home alone today.
Gotta be strong to get through this  right?
I hope all of you stay healthy... and strong if you’re still living with your non-straight spouses.

Elle
 

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (May 16, 2020 9:06 pm)

Hey people I've been visiting family for almost 2 weeks. Haven't missed my partner at all , but it was my birthday half way thru my trip and he sent flowers to my sister's house. The next day I flew to my daughter's city and...lo and behold!....another bunch of flowers. He said in the note attached "if you haven't realised...you're being wooed". All the while he's 'wooing' I'm writing more of the story of our life together and how he ruined what I thought was going to be a wonderful future together. The last time he bought flowers was when I'd got back from another trip away. He seems to only be able to express himself remotely.

 Anyway.....Covid19. New Zealand has just one confirmed case of Covid19 in the country. Our borders are still closed to foreigners (except the American film crew who flew in today and those NZ'ers coming home, who must do the required 14 day isolation). Covid19 contact tracing apps are the norm, social distancing still a requirement, tho groups of 100 may now gather. 

Cross fingers we don't lapse and have to return to Rahui (lockdown) once more

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (May 31, 2020 2:14 pm)

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

MJM017 wrote:

Our area will probably be on lockdown until July or August. Am in California & our governor and local jurisdictions are very strict about shelter in place to keep the COVID-19 numbers low.
NZ has moved from Level 4 (everybody at home, everything CLOSED, no contact with anybody not in one's own personal bubble) to two weeks of some shops, restaurants & schools open with restrictions. With a focus on safety rather than what's essential. The deaths from Covid have decreased enough to cautiously move in to Level 2, which allows gatherings of no more than 10 people, and still no drinking establishments allowed to open I keep a diary of where, when and with who I go, to make contract-tracing easy if needed  
Am splitting my time between my own home & driving to my parents home 30 miles away to provide caregiving. It’s stressful because one parent has always had overwhelming mental health issues. My sibling has a milder form of the illness.
This must be so difficult for you. But what a good daughter you are. Are you the only home-help they have?
Mother’s Day was difficult as my parent was acting up and my sibling was emotionally abusive to them & me. They gave my mom a half-dead plant on Sunday out of spite. If I speak up about the abuse from both, I get blamed for causing trouble. Am sure this is why I took abuse from my GIDXH for so many years.
Omg! what did your mother do....say? What a heartbreaking thing to do..!!
Am grateful to be home alone today.
Gotta be strong to get through this  right?
I hope all of you stay healthy... and strong if you’re still living with your non-straight spouses.

Elle
 

Hi Elle,

Sorry I didn’t answer sooner. It’s been painful to think about.  I’m going very low contact in this situation. Am still healing from GIDXH & my parents can take care of themselves very well. I will get outside help when the time comes.

If TGT has taught me anything, it’s to set boundaries.

I think I’m having a bad day today. Am over posting. Things will be better tomorrow.

Last edited by MJM017 (June 1, 2020 10:04 pm)

Happy Belated Birthday, Elle! I’m glad you got away for a bit. That sounds amazing. I’m sorry about the flowers, my GIDH tends to get me flowers often these days and I hate it so much. Where were the flowers for the last 21 1/2 years, during all those valentines and bdays and me giving birth to five beautiful children for him. I just watch the flowers sit there and die every time... a metaphor for my marriage. Yikes.

I’m so raw I can’t stop crying. I’m still not allowed to open my business yet in CA so I’m still stuck at home with no income to keep working towards divorce.
The horrible pain so many people are feeling over the horrific murder of an innocent man is everywhere. I’m desperately trying to learn and teach my kids and figure out how to help but my GIDH is so disapproving of me speaking up for truth and justice and compassion... at least he hasn’t silenced me, because he knows that I am not the weak willed submissive wife I used to be.
And now fire season is starting again in my rural area. Three fires yesterday and three today. I want to move so bad, I don’t want to have to evacuate again or spend so many weeks without power like last year. Every time there’s any wind they shut off our power so the lines don’t start a fire. I want to move so badly but he says he won’t for another year.
I have promised myself that I’m not staying married past Feb 2 of next year, since that’s a year from when I realized he’s gay, not just bi, and that my sacrifice of 21 years of my life to try to finally make him happy were all useless. I figured I could handle one year to get my things in order. But then lockdown and shutting down my new business happened. I feel like a rat stuck in a trap who would gladly chew off its own leg to escape, but I can’t leave my babies. And I can’t afford a place that will get the 18yr old to willingly come too. And he’s been on superb behavior since February. I’ve never seen anything like it. When I was losing my patience over all the online covid-schooling he would come out of his room all calm and get the kids to calm down and even make them laugh. Where was he during the last 18 years as I struggled with homeschooling and charter schools and acclimating the kids through the culture shock of starting public school.
So many people have it so much worse than me. I want to help people heal themselves and be empowered and live joyful, love-filled lives. But I haven’t been able to rescue myself yet. And I keep getting blocked.  I know they say that when you have a goal you WILL encounter obstacles. But each one seems insurmountable right now.

Hello All ...New Zealand has had no new Covid19 cases for 14 days now and only 1 person in hospital. We still have I hear a couple hundred coming into the country every week but all have a 14 day quarantine before they can 'join' the rest of us.

 Life at home continues...but more and more I feel like a traitor to my r'ship. A while back I corresponded with a Forum member whose wife had come out as a lesbian but they stayed together (both elderly)..with the wife stating there would be no intimacy, no sex, and the man (forum member) didn't know how he was going to deal with it. 
 The thing is...I've said to my partner a firm No to sex...and now, rightly or wrongly, I'm feeling guilty and torn....

I have to log off...I'll finish this later