I’m so sorry this happened to you. When I went to my therapist that I started seeing a few months ago and told her I believed my ex lied about thinking I was beautiful (he told me all the time) and lied about the loving things he wrote me in a 3 page letter our first year of dating she said to me “how do you know he didn’t think you were beautiful? How do you know he didn’t mean all those things in the letter?”. My mind could not simply comprehend how a man who is attracted  to men could love me and believe I was beautiful. I still struggle with this. I don’t have an answer to it if it was real for me or real for you but I do know it felt real to US. That means something. We can never truly know if a person is genuine or not- gay or straight. It just hurts so much more to feel as if someone used us and wasted our time. To this day what kills me is that I had a right to know. I had a right to choose if I wanted to be with a straight or bi or gay man. He didn’t give me that choice. I just want to say again I am so sorry u are in this place. It was a year and a half for me and I still struggle. If I ever figure out the answer I will tell u I promise! I just think we have to accept that we can’t understand the motives and actions of anyone but ourselves at the end of the day.