OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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- Willowtree99
- Member
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Re: Bi sexual wife
Hi Matt,
First off a lot of us have been hurt here so we all have different views at different times.
This is you and your wife’s journey..
For me my husband told me he was bi sexual at first and recently said he was gay. It went from bisexual to gay quick. I think a lot of people use the term bisexual to feel better about themselves at first. But I know there is true bisexual people also. She’s explored her sexuality and you have let her do that. If she’s bi she should be perfectly happy to stay committed to you.
Doesn’t mean she needs both if your not happy with the situation. In life there’s always things we want but need to settle. Like I would love a massive dick to try but settled for my husbands. I know couples that have threes somes and explored but stopped or have had open relationships and stopped to.
I for one have always loved my husband. He also offered me to sleep with other men if I wanted. It did hurt and I can only see it as him feeling better about himself seeing other men and if I’m doing it to it’s ok for him to do it.
In the mean time make sure your both honest and make sure you are honest about your feelings. Even when it comes to a time where you aren’t comfortable with it.
Set boundaries. Make sure you have time together and have dates so you both can feel loved together. Have fun together. If yous want to be together then you’d both need to work hard to be happy together. Even small things like a lovely text.
We are here for you.
- phoenix
- Administrator
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Re: Bi sexual wife
This is a good conversation so far.
Personal thoughts on two points:
There are absolutely people in the world who are bi-sexual. They are open and honest with potential partners (of both sexes) from the start and don't try to hide it from anyone.
Most of our partners are not bi-sexual. Most of our partners are gay and have known they are gay from an early age and they chose to build a straight persona to hide from the world. They used us to further this lie. When caught or when they could no longer stay in the closet because they met someone of the same-sex they want to be with, they use the Bi-sexual excuse to avoid much of the guilt that they deserve. Admitting they are gay means they are immediately guilty of lying to us and using us. Saying they are BI means they can still genuinely love us and didn't necessarily every lie to us. Our society also seems to embrace the concept of "exploring" bisexuality, so it gives them license to cheat on us without having societal guilt. Being Bi means their spouse will most likely give them a chance to explore so they can "get over it and come back to their marriage".
When you are already married, being Bi-sexual is a million times better than being gay. So they will play that card almost every time.
Second thing: I frequently hear about our LGBT spouses offering us the opportunity to find physical intimacy with someone else. To me, this means they have already left the marriage emotionally. I can't see how any married person would voluntarily suggest that their spouse find intimacy outside the marriage. If you love a person you wouldn't urge them to find a form of love with someone else. To me, this is 100% a way for them to justify their own cheating. They won't feel bad if there is mutual cheating.. it's their license to cheat w/out guilt. It's honestly the best possible thing for the closeted homosexual. They get sleep around and fulfill their desires without guilt in their own marriage, but they keep that marriage so they don't have to come out to the world or their families or whoever else they are hiding from.
Again.. just personal opinion. But the second your spouse tells you they think you should find someone else you know they are 100% gay and they are already emotionally divorced from you.
Sorry for the tangent Matt, and sorry to tell you what you are probably not ready to hear about your own marriage. I hope in your case I'm wrong.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- Upside
- Member
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Re: Bi sexual wife
lily wrote:
"I get nothing out of this personally"
yes exactly, that is the problem.
identifying as a bisexual is a thing these days. It wasn't in the past, but they still found each other - covens are not a modern thing. As far as I can see, bisexual is a modern term for a woman who wants to marry a straight man and have children. But when it comes down to it, she is attracted to women.
you give her your love your fealty and she is in a lesbian dating pool. of course it hurts.
This one hit hard. So well said, Lily!
Youch. Stop the feelings I want to get off.