Kel, 
He knows I know about the 'one man' he was involved with. He doesn't know I know he has been searching the internet for hook-ups and that he goes to gay saunas. He also doesn't know I know about his 'secret stash' of toys or his continue use of gay porn. He has profiles set up on several gay hook-up websites. I have print-outs of all of this. I just don't understand if he was straight up gay, why he would always want to have sex with me and complain that I don't 'give it to him' enough. I has a serious addition to porn that is for sure and it's not just normal stuff either, it's the wants to be humiliated kind. 

This has been a beneficial thread to see everyone's progress and concerns. My wish for you, me...all of us, is to find that light in this world. Be it from a STRAIGHT mate or from loving ourselves back to the mental and physical health we deserve. Now for my update: I never had any proof that my GID soon-to-be-ex was cheating with men. All I heard were rumors. But I just knew. I knew it from the lack of passion, and the eyes-closed shut during all sexual encounters. I have been financially dependent on him for the last five years. I signed an unfair pre-nup which leaves me penniless. Since I officially left a few months ago, I've gotten no more "UTI infections." Maybe they were STD's? And the antibiotics worked? Anyway, I met someone in my city who I've begun dating. No sex (yet) but this man's kisses tell a whole different story that what it was like kissing my husband - who hated kissing. I feel as if I'm the only one on the forum who hasn't found any proof of TGT. I've checked phones, computers...nothing. This lack of real proof kept me going back to him after the love-bombing. Not anymore. Sometimes...rather often...we just "know" and ignore those feelings. Hugs to all. 

Oh Roo I can't imagine what it would be like to have all of that bottled up inside.  That's enough to make you so very physically sick.  My GHID had all of that hookup shit too..  I exploded and then went into complete shock.  I couldn't stop screaming.  I broke $6,000 worth of his fishing stuff and destroyed his 'man town' room and everything in it.  We all react differently I guess and who's to say what the right way is.  I certainly admire your strength and self control.  I have a feeling you'll do OK girl.  

Piper I really didn't have enough 'proof' either. We only dated and didn't live together so it was hard to get more evidence. But what I did see was proof enough. For starters my gut told me something was wrong before anything else. So I listened to my gut and watched him like a hawk esp when he didn't realize it. It was mostly during his unaware moments that I watched him stare and/or make enough prolonged eye contact with other men on every occasion. Prolonged eye contact is the cue for them to 'know' whose interested. The longer the eye contact the more intense and lustful it became. A smirk and a nod was usually followed, and if a restroom was nearby he'd suddenly have the need to use it.
Not only did I watch him, but I watched all the shady looking men around him and they do they same eye dance with each other. (But not the straight guys.) My ears often picked up a low 'mmm' sound of approval from him when he saw what he liked. When he got a respsonce he would turn and walk back in their direction and linger around anywhere his interest was. Once I caught him crab his crotch really quick when a couple of gay guys passed us on the beach. His head kept flying back and forth from our conversation to their direction and as they got closer he locked eyes with one of them as he did it. I guess he didn't think I'd notice, because as usual I was pretending not to.

If a male and female couple came within sight, he checked out the guy mostly and payed little attention to the women. He seemed to get especially excited around older married men like himself. I understand that's what many of them prefer. That way they can stay 'discreet' and married to unsuspecting partners. He also made too many comments about other men on the telly and in real life and his eyes never failed to rake the whole body, especially the ass.

So that alone was the grand opening door to knowing he liked men. Later I did just the right amount of snooping and stalking to notice he liked to linger around areas known for cruising, such as parks and rest stops. He'd sit in his truck like the other freaks with the window open and watch the scene around him or play with a phone that he kept on silent or hidden from my view. Many times I noticed he gave a few signals including hand signals that I found out later were purposely used for cruising other men and letting them know which sexual position you were. (According to his wrist flip by the ass he is a bottom.)
Then there was a problem with ED, and other sexual performance flags. Later I found a homo pix on his phone that he claimed suddenly appeared from an internet search. He played hide a phone and cleared all history search after that bust and there were enough long unexplained disappearances to form a basic picture.
 I watched the first signs or a long time in silence before confronting him. He did everything in his power to keep these actions hidden afterwards but by then it was too late. I'd seen enough. Though I still loved him and tried to deny what I'd seen, all trust was lost. 
Thankfully it was a short romance instead of the long marriages I read about on here. I'm doing great but do run into him on occasion. He still denies being gay, bi or having any type of gay hookups. But my gut and my memory of what I saw tells me differently. I can't unsee what I saw and it's changed me and ruined any hope for a chance with me.
Love and kisses to all. Hang in there.
We will all get through THIER mire and come out cleaner. Even if it takes a while with a lot of pain, it will happen, but THEY will still be dirty and smell as bad as they did in the beginning. 

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