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kathy, thanks for your kind words of encouragement. I have moved to a new community and have established new friends thru Book Club, and Newcomer groups, so I have some girlfriends. I have no interest in engaging with men. I saw my husband for dinner this evening, emotionally he is a wreck and drinking too much. He is afraid I will leave him for another man....no worries there.....I will get a dog and a vibrator before I get another man in my life.
Distraction helps me, but I have those times, where it hits me, and I break down......it seems to set me back when I do see him, because I feel so sorry for his pain, and I want so badly to believe his lies. When I don't see him, I see things more clearly, I see reality, I see the truth.
Right now, I don't want to do anything, nothing, I have no plans to divorce, for now I am just separated, making no decisions.......being in this limbo is OK for now.......Maybe I will see a counselor later on, but for now, I just don't want to deal with any horsehair for now. I just want to be.
Kathy, I wish you the very best......I feel your pain, I am so sorry for your suffering.