I guess I hadn't really thought about it like that.  When he initially reached out to her it wasn't as a client it was as the pastor of several of her clients.  Wanting to know how what her basis of counciling was.   I have expressed several concerns that I've had about his council and she feels like he pushes his agenda a bit much.  Telling me what I should be doing based on his opinion.  Then he announced that he went to see her to the church.  When I asked her if he had tried to discuss me she assured me that they had not discussed any of her clients.   More like an interview of sorts.   

Anyway I don't know. She's helping me move forward.  Encouraging me to take the next step.   To tell him that I want him to move out.

Not sure I want to start this all over with another councillor. 

I truly appreciate this forum so much.  I pull strength from so many of you.

Thank you all for your concern.  I did decide to go to the councillor by myself today.  I also spoke to her about my pastor.  First let me say in her defense she told me right away, before she met with him, that he had reached out to her.  She and I both assumed it was because she was supporting my decision to divorce.  She told me today that they only discussed her overall views and basis for counciling and that he wants to see her on a personal counciling level.  She said he didn't bring up anything else or anyone else.  Apparently, he is looking for someone to hold him accountable in his walk as well.   

I truly hope this is all true.  I am not the only member of our church that sees her, so there is a chance that I was being over sensitive.  I'm still a little unsure as I know he is telling my husband to never stop fighting for the marriage.   Time will tell I guess.

The councillor told me that he had reached out to her because he wanted to see what she based her counciling on and how they could work together.  I'm not the only member of the church that goes to her, but I am the one bucking their beliefs.  He actually is the one that recommended her in the beginning.  He then on Sunday told the congregation that he had gone to talk to a councillor in that town, so I know he went.   I don't believe my councillor would tell him anything but I'll see her tomorrow.   That is now my delima.  My GID husband wants to go with me.   I have no desire to council with him anymore, but if helps out an end to this it might be worth it. 

I have 3 children 22, 10 and 7.  The 22 year old knows what is going on.  The 10 year old is concerned because dad is sleeping in the basement and she saw a book of his called "i don't want a divorce". 

On a side note my councillor recommended a book to me called "God's been divorced too".  It helps a lot with the religious side of things.

I've spoke to a lawyer already.  My oldest is having major anxiety issues right now.  I'm sure mostly because of this.  I want to help her through this.  I had just really hoped we could agree.  He makes me feel like such a bad person for giving up.   But I have given up.  I just really don't want it to be ugly, but I'm afraid it's going to be.   I just want it to be over so I can heal.

How when he's been caught watching men Masturbate can he still deny that he's sexually attracted to men?. Somehow I was the one that was cold.  I was the one that didn't want sex.   Do they truly believe their own stories?.   I say I want a divorce and he says he's not ready, we haven't tried hard enough.   Please please please tell me I'm not crazy.