I will start by saying today we are married 38 years. We are committed to the relationship. I would love to say that love is enough, it's a start, a necessary start. It all depends on what you both want, together and separately. For me I accept who my husband is, I do not negate him. We are open about his sexuality. I truly believe that honesty, discussion, open feelings are necessary. I think everyone must find their way. I am sending you positive thoughts.

I knew he was gay before we married. In the beginning he was "faithful", I am using this word to try and explain. Of course, he could not maintain that. I do not negate who he is, it is after all who he is.For me, he is not the "bad" guy. I feel acknowledgement is important if you want the relationship to work. His life with me is focus.

I've been reading many posts. So many are filled with pain, hurt, disappointment. I am all of those things. I keep wondering what he will tell me. So hard to understand why he stayed all these years, 37 soon to be 38. Was I/ am I his cover story? On Sunday we had a good talk. I mentioned an open relationship, he got so excited. I am not that person. I gave him his freedom. I told him he is free to do whatever, no questions asked. Yet he was not sure that it what he wants. He said " it's like you gave me a hall pass". He was even confused by this, he is not sure that is what he wants. So I said, is it the thrill of cheating and he said yes to some extent. He is not sure he can have a sexual relationship with me anymore. I keep going over all the years. We had some really good times, some bad, but it is life. Don't know how to live with him, don't know how to live without him.

Thank you for you support. It means a lot to be heard.

I knew my husband was gay before we married. We were friends for a long time. I guess you can say we realized we loved each other and sex was good. He was very attentive and definitely enjoyed sex with me. We have been married 37 years. We have three grown children. Over the years things started to change, he was often late from work and sex was less and less. I can never say I was not aware. I dealt with it because I had three children and he is a good Dad. In fact I good husband. Yes there was times when he was/is distant. He is somewhere else. I also thought when the kids were done with college I would leave. Some circumstances did not let that happen. I finally confronted him a few years ago. He wasn't too surprised and did not deny anything. He says he loves me, and I believe this is true. He says it's only for sex, no emotional attachment,he does not want a relationship with a man. As time went on he can not be the person I want sexually, his interest in me is gone. Unfortunately, I love him and am still attracted to him. He tries really hard not to go and have sex with men but, it never lasts. I told him recently that we can stay together for now, but he can't have me any more. He is a very affectionate person, likes to hold my hand, hugs and kisses alot. I know he is devastated by my decision. I want a full relationship, not a half one. I am trying to regain my self esteem and gain courage to leave. I am 68 years old and still have a whole lot of life. It hurts real bad. This is my first post.