My partner (I'll call them D) and I met through mutual friends when we were in our very early 20s. We had both been raised in a christian based cult and had a lot of trauma from it. I had just moved out of my parent's house and D was still living with and working for their family. D's parents were verbally, spiritually, and emotionally abusive. They didn't not want their children to have thoughts or opinions they did not approve of. They believed in arranged marriage and were furious when D told them we were dating. They tried pulling every card they had to force us to break up, but D held strong and refused to let them continue running his life. D told me it was the first time they had stood up to their parents and I was so proud of them.
Our pre-marriage relationship was a whirlwind, we started dating during spring break and were married by December of the same year. I thought I had hit the jackpot in a spouse. They were perfect in every way. We never fought, agreed on everything, wanted to be around the other person 100% of the time. My only concern was that D talked as if they didn't see any faults in me what so ever. I was worried that they wouldn't want to stay with me when the rose colored glasses wore off, but D eventually assured me that they could see my faults, but were choosing to not to let it effect how they felt about me. I was smitten. 

This perfect marriage lasted about a year, when D started questioning their religion. I became so insecure, I told them to not talk about it and pretend they still believed what I believed. Every time the subject would come up, it turned into a fight. Over the years, I slowly started to see the problems they had with Christianity and begrudgingly accepted that part of them, but the damage was done. If D had a thought they knew I wouldn't like, they would lie and pretend, just like they did with their parents before. 
They started making comments about wishing they were female, because women could wear pretty clothi