This is a LONG POST that I posted under: 'Our Stories' that I have attempted to shorten in this thread: 

I've been in avoiding talking about the real deal in my marriage for a LONG TIME. 

I started placing or looking for dating ads in the newspaper (before online dating was a thing).  I met a kind person, nurturing and attentive, never married, didn't have kids.  When I thought we were getting serious, I introduced the person to my child.  After several months of dating, I moved into my partner's house.  I told my partner all the good and the bad about my previous marriage.  What hurts most of all was the betrayal and that my first spouse sacrificed family to cover up for a friend and ended up in prison.

We got engaged and married in less than a year.  My partner's father was supportive.  He paid for and came to our wedding and out to visit when our second child (spouse's first) was born.  My spouse's mother didn't come to the wedding or visit us in our home state even when the second grandchild was born.  I felt distant from her although we saw their home during the holidays.  In hindsight, I think my in-laws knew about my spouse's sexuality.  My then-fiancee would often relay to me that father frequently asked when my then-fiancee would settle down.  Father-in-law may have thought that his child had decided to be heterosexual, while my future mother-in-law knew that 'things weren't right' and chose to be distant.  

Less than a year after we married, my second child (our first child) was born.  We were in the honeymoon period for a few years.  We used a shared computer in a separate bedroom in our home.  My spouse was primarily using it for classes taken at a university and work-related activities.  A lot of times, the spouse would use the computer with the door closed.  I didn't mind because we were still spending quality time with each other. 

Our kids shared a bedroom with two separate bunk beds.  One of the worst decisions I agreed t