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General Discussion » Are they really your friend? » July 20, 2020 7:33 pm

Lonelychick
Replies: 16

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OneDayAtATime,

I think you commented to my thread recently where I discuss my partner and if he is gay.  You raised this question about him being my best friend and if he was would be treat me the way he does and I thought you were 100% correct.  It really opened my eyes.  When I think about my close friends I know they would never put me through the roller coaster of emotions my partner does.  They would be open and honest with me and would not expect me to sacrifice so much without even a conversation or awareness of my feelings or the hurt.  I am not sure why I consider him a best friend when he doesn't meet my definition of one, maybe it is denial.  Maybe I am still trying to be nice and defend his behaviour as I am so used to defending him.  Ultimately it probably stems from me not being ready to deal with it all yet.  

Is He/She Gay » Confident he is gay but he won't admit it...not sure what to do » July 20, 2020 7:03 pm

Lonelychick
Replies: 9

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Thank you so much for your support everyone...apologies for the late reply, sometimes I just can't face or deal with it all and coming on here brings it all to the surface and I keep away for a while.  I always come back.
I have recently opened up to another family member and her best friend who I trust about my partners behaviour.  I literally just said that we were having problems...I didn't get any further when the best friend said "has he come out as gay?!"  I couldn't believe it, it feels like others can see it but not me. 

Is He/She Gay » Confident he is gay but he won't admit it...not sure what to do » June 30, 2020 8:37 pm

Lonelychick
Replies: 9

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Firstly, I am so relieved I have found this forum.  This topic is something I have only spoken about with 1 close friend and 1 family member and I feel like I need others to share my experience with.  It feels like a lonely world at times.   
Me and my partner have been together for 8.5 years and we have two children who are 4 and 6 years old.  When we first got together I had recently left a previous relationships with a guy who was a bit of a sex maniac...he would have had sex three times a day if I had wanted it.  It sometimes got a bit too much so meeting my partner now, the one I think is gay, was a relief that I could really engage emotionally with someone and it not be about sex.  Therefore, I never really noticed that we didn't have it.  When we decided to try for our first child and I didn't get pregnant I realised it was because we didn't actually have any sex...yeah, that won't work, lol.  I confronted him about the issue and said that we didn't need to have a child if he wasn't ready...he said he was and that night we had sex.  It was interesting to say the least...it didn't last long and it wasn't intimate at all, as was the case with the sex previously.  I made the decision this wasn't going to work and made plans to go back on my contraception BUT I fell pregnant.  That was it for sex for 1.5 years, then the exact same thing happened with our second child, one quickie = pregnant me.  That was it then for 3 years.  No sex, no intimacy, nothing.  
Now, we lead very busy lives.  I am a very active person and don't stop and keep busy as much as I can so I tried not to think about the lack of sex.  He is the complete opposite and would sit down all day if he could get away with it and never go anywhere.  He is a lovely person though, one of those people that everyone likes and never has a bad word to say about.  I also have to say a very hands on and amazing father.  It has only been the last few months, mainly due to Covid lockdown sl

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