Charting My Path wrote:

The gay and trans lifestyles should not be supported 

I'm going to give this one more try ...
The Mission of SSN and now OurPath is to:

• REACHING OUT to increase visibility of Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People and their access to support.
• HEALING to empower Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People to find their own path post-discovery or disclosure and to cope constructively.
• BUILDING BRIDGES between spouses, within families, with LGBT+ organizations and the larger community through support, education and advocacy.

Why do you think we wanted to build bridges for the past 30+ years? Why do you think our founder Amity frequently reminds us to reach out. Our Founder and Board understand the only way we can help the generations behind us avoid our pain, suffering, STDs, and financial hardship is to seek to eliminate the closets and remove barriers our gay and lesbian ex's used to avoid their truths. As the Admin said,  "My late ex married me because she wanted a sperm donor and a breadwinner. No way [do] I have any sympathy for her or anyone else who does that." But, if we do not reach out to younger generations through support, education and advocacy, we are dooming the next generations -- our kids and grands kids to suffer our same fate. By understand all the facts and trigger, we are better able to provide the support our Straights need and at the same time seek to open the closets and remove the barriers.
Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world - Mandela 
 

Anon2222 wrote:

I agree with Elle. You have provided so much insight and support on this forum, you would be greatly missed.

From my brief dive into the literature, it appears that the term "autogynephilia" has fallen out of favor and more research tends to use the term "female embodiment fantasies". I mean, looking at the original definition of autogynephilia from the 1980's, some of it has changed and been disproven....but the basic concept continues to remain, it is just being argued that it is normal. And it is incredibly common for research to evolve over time and I'm not surprised that the base generalization has changed somewhat.

But this doesn't negate the fact that the basic principle still exists, where there is a subset of trans women who find the thought of being a woman themselves erotic. And there is still the ongoing concept of cross-dressing vs transitioning. 

Overall, I think it is a heavily nuanced topic....and it is entirely fair for a straight spouse to describe their situation how they see fit. Honestly, the political correctness required now a days grows exhausting. Because you have experienced "x" that just so happens to not be the prevailing theory of the time, doesn't mean that you are wrong. And, so long as there aren't people screaming hate speech back and forth, I do not see the need for censoring. It is still very much a common theory, that is evolving over time. And I'm sure our opinions/theories will change once again in another couple decades.

Just because this trend of inclusiveness tries to push that anything and everything is wonderful and fully acceptable....doesn't mean we all have to agree.

We just posted a podcast on this very topic so it seems weird that we would censor any thing related unless wrong. Inappropriate or dangerous

…

It was a while ago, but dating at 50 having not dated in almost 30 years was a bit of a challenge.  The internet was helpful and after four years I remarried having met a wonderful, straight woman on match.com.

My take aways:
Take your time ...no hurry.
Be careful, lots of chat and email before phone.  Lots of phone before a meeting. First meeting in a public place. Let someone know you're out on a date (just in case)
How some fun with it
Blended families are a reality; take your time to get to know the kids too if things go that far.
There is life after TGT but only if you reach up and take it.
In my support group we always said, "sometimes you step of the edge and fly."

Good luck!