OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.
1 of 1- Jesse's Girl
- New member
Offline
Divorce is final...
It's been a while since I have posted. My divorce was finalized on June 29 th. It happened so fast. My ex told me he was gay on March 21, 2017 and here we are, four or so months later, divorced. We have been dealing and co parenting fairly well. Until, a few days ago. He apparently has been in a relationship for sometime. I have asked him numerous times about this and he has lied every time. I found out, through a mutual friend that he indeed has been in a relationship. The relationship really isn't the issue. It bothers me, sure, but the fact that he has already introduced this man to my 10 year old son is my main issue. We had discussed months ago how we would handle a new relationship for either of us. That we would wait until we felt my son was ready. Well, I guess not. My son isn't ready....and the cat is already out of the bag. I feel like I have been lied to enough and I just can't take it anymore. I told him how I felt and he said he lied to spare my feelings. REALLY? I'm not his responsibility anymore. Who is he kidding? He just didn't want to deal with me because he knew I'd be furious.
I'm so very tired of it all......
Thanks for listening.
- Rob
- Member
Offline
Re: Divorce is final...
Jesse,
First congratulations on getting away from him..my journey away from my cheating gay ex took so long..
That is a lot for a 10 year old to handle.. our kids bear the brunt of our selfish spouses tearing the family apart. Its best not to think about depth of their selfishness..their broken moral core...rhey think they are putting the kids first but they are not.
Luckily I think a 10 year old can handle this better than a teenager.
Just be there for your kid..they need a consistent and stable more than ever.
Now drinking a glass of wine in toast to your freedom from TGT.
Last edited by Rob (August 14, 2017 7:38 pm)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- phoenix
- Administrator
Offline
Re: Divorce is final...
Welcome back Jesse,
Congrats on surviving the divorce and coming through the other side ok. I'm glad to hear that your co-parenting is going smoothly. With so much upheaval in your son's life right now, it's important that you don't add too much stress for him by letting him see strife between his two parents.
Be prepared for a lot of emotional conflict over your ex. Now that you are away from him you will have time to process your feelings and you will surely learn more about the real person that he is. I am still floored by how much my opinion of my ex has changed.
I share the identical struggle you do regarding my ex having her lover around my sons (11,8). It drives me nuts that I can't protect my kids from bad influences while they are with my mother. I think 9 months out from divorce, the thing that angers me most is that my ex stole half of the rest of my kids childhoods from me and is being a horrible influence during that time away. It's just so unfair.. they destroy our lives and then steal our kids away from us. I'm going to miss out on 50% of the rest of their youth due solely to the selfishness and deceit of my ex. talk about injustice.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.
- Jesse's Girl
- New member
Offline
Re: Divorce is final...
Thanks for your support!
I know I have a long road ahead of me.
It is really hard to realize that my ex is NOT the person I thought he was. He has shown me numerous times now who is is and what he is all about. I have just realized that I have to stop trying to convince myself that he is the person I used to know. If I'm being honest, I don't think that person really existed in the first place. I can only hope that he keeps my son's interests and feelings first and foremost in every decision he makes. If not, I'll be here to call him on it and pick up the pieces for my son. Fingers crossed.
- •
Thread Starter