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Fri Jul 7 11:15 am  #51

Re: Pillar of the community

Hi Angry - good for you for at least telling the one child that YOU were the one who kept your vows.  That will at least plant the seed.  However, the problem is that he has already planted an entire field to your one seed.  That moment with your child was a great opportunity for you to have said look, there is something he's keeping from you.  It's big and it's awful and it ripped my heart out and changed all of our lives and I'm getting blamed for it.  Your Dad is a liar and a manipulator and I'm scared to tell you his truth...  Then either leave it at that or let the entire cat out of the bag. 

If you go back and read your posts you can tell that your kids are getting more and more distant.  Now, one has even moved away without even saying goodbye!!  It seems like you're asking for advice, not taking it, but then coming back and telling us how much worse things have gotten.  This situation is not one that will get any better with you a) ignoring it or b) taking the high road.  We've seen for months now that the situation is only getting worse.  I agree with everyone else above - you NEED to tell them.  Let the chips fall where they may. 

I'm so sorry that you're going through this but you have got to make a move now. 


Fri Jul 7 1:48 pm  #52

Re: Pillar of the community

The more I think about the *truth* that nobody knows except my man & I (oh, and the counselor) the more 
I'm emboldened by the need to tell at least one close inner member of our family that while respected & 
loved....he's not the man they think he is. Well...he is but....y'know, if everything turns upside down you 
can betcha that it'll be me that comes off looking worse to everybody who knows us. 

I keep cannot change ones sexuality. He's bi-sexual. I am straight. So....seeing it
from that base starting point (can I swear?)....I'm fucked. Where the road leads from here....I dunno, 
but I'm determined it won't always be a secret I'll keep to myself



Wed Jul 12 10:15 am  #53

Re: Pillar of the community

Fuck YEAH you can swear, Elloxoh!  Lol.


You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.

Wed Jul 12 10:42 am  #54

Re: Pillar of the community

After reading the posts from the 7th, I thought, I'm just going to do it. TODAY! ,
One child was visiting him from out of town. Child told me that she and her father were out for dinner, but that she would be at my house afterward. I thought great, I'm going to go to the restaurant and tell him he needs to tell his daughter NOW, the reason for our divorce, or I would tell her right there in the restaurant. I've seen him go into one of his narcissistic rages one too many times in private. Since he is a pillar of the community, he'd never do anything in public, so we'd both be safe and he'd have to tell his version right there, last chance. 
Daughter  told gay man that I was on my way , and the coward abruptly left the restaurant before I was able to get there. 
He also decided to cease  his spousal support payments , so I'll have to take him to court for that I suppose. He so much enjoys jerking my chain.
This is not your ordinary closeted husband, he has turned on me in a rage since I figured out he is gay. A normal person would leave their wife alone and make sure she was financially set since he took decades of her life. Not him. 

     Thread Starter

Wed Jul 12 4:10 pm  #55

Re: Pillar of the community

What an ass!  So....did you tell your child??  Didn't she wonder why he left?  Or did he just blame it on something like he didn't want to see you?


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