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Sat Jul 1 4:42 am  #1


After 32 years....

....I am now faced with his *honesty* if it can be called that. I knew he had bi-sexual desires but thought it was in the context of the coupleplay we would engage in. But the last 6 months have been like one mountain to climb after another. The deception, the lies, the secret email, the feeling 'something' was wrong. I just knew everything had changed. This man I love, who has cared for me, walked with me, been with me through more of my life than he hasn't.... I can't trust him anymore to tell me the truth. He's taken my trust and crushed it beneath his need to follow a want that leaves me....alone?
I've cried buckets. Tears sit just behind my eyes.....
We have....we had....so much together, and it hurts so much to love him but not trust him. He had given me the information that he dresses up in my stockings, talks to men online, takes photos. He's told me all this, in an email.. and that it would kill him if anybody else read it. So...in giving me his confidence...he's wanting to include me in his fantasies but surely knows it must hurt me because this isn't what I signed on for....

Update; he no longer feels counseling is beneficial. Says *this issue* is all we ever talk about, but hardly ever talks about anything anyway. It's like he wants me to make the decision with him being more aloof, more dismissive, colder. I know if I turned around today and acted like everything was normal....he would just carry on, like nothing had happened

Last edited by Ellexoh (Mon Jul 17 4:23 pm)


" Taking it....one day at a time...."
 

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