You ARE making progress, River.  If you find yourself thrown back occasionally, that means that you're not constantly in that state, as I'm sure you used to be.  Grief and mourning work the way you're describing - it just comes on sometimes.  And that's okay.  Think of it as a poison that was in your system - it's horrible in the beginning - torture.  But even later, you will experience little bursts of some more damage that was caused by the toxic substance in your body.  EVERYthing workse this way - if you go completely off sugar, it will be days of torture, followed by more energy but by sudden cravings and temptation at seeing some sugar-laden treat.  It's months before you're free of the substance - both physically and mentally.  What you're going through isn't pleasant, but it's completely normal and healthy.

When she says she wishes you well, simply say "thank you".  All that means is that she hopes for the best for you.  And that's good - it would terrible if after all she's done, she was wishing you active hurt.  But her wishing you well doesn't suddenly mean that she wants you as her best friend, or that she's actively sitting around praying for your happiness.  It's a platitude that is meant to convey that she has no ill will.  Why would she?  She's has taken what she needed from you.  She has no reason to feel anything but relief and good toward you because you didn't try to make her miserable over her actions.

You don't have to decide right now if you want to be friends some day.  It is enough to know that right now, you can't do that.  The future remains to be seen - just as it always does.  Just do what's best for you today, and keep doing that.  Over time, things may change so that what's best for you is different.

No contact is the way to go, though.  If you've got a stab wound, you don't keep the knife around to poke at the wound again.  You concentrate on band aids and healing and wound care.  This is no different.

Kel