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- Norah
- Member
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Re: Upcoming Mediation
Anon 2222, I am thinking about you and your upcoming mediation, what you are going through now and your concerns about during the mediation itself. If he is controlling and already not treating you fairly, I don’t think mediation will work.
Signing papers in a separate room is okay. I did it. I didn’t care if he had any ideas about it. I cared about myself. It wasn’t a mediation. It wasn’t a divorce either, as in our state, we don’t have common law marriage. Simple, you would think, maybe with a normal person when all it was is a house, and house account.
I had my own lawyer that dealt with real estate. It irked him, as he couldn’t call the shots, and getting a lawyer cost him money. You see, my ex from the beginning tried to screw me over. Said the house was his period! Then he tried to coerce me several times to sign his hand written document with his set price of the house. No, he’s not qualified for that. I demanded an appraisal as local home prices rose quite a bit that summer. I had my belongings in boxes. I locked my bedroom door at night. To his dismay I had the appraisal and the house was worth $36,000 more than his set price. Then, he stated that he didn’t want the house. Therefore, I suppose he thought he won because he gained a nice chunk of money from me buying him out. Actually I won because I didn’t have to contend with him anymore.
Separate rooms as my emotions were labile and looking at him and his facial expressions would be triggering, let alone his presence. I didn’t want to end up being a blubbering mess, he would have had satisfaction. I didn’t want to face him before, during or after.
Annon 2222, It’s okay with separate rooms. Don’t expect a bully to be fair, let alone care about you.
Expect emotions afterward from the final release of the stress you’ve endured. Stay strong. And NO CONTACT. As Chump Lady says, “trust that he sucks. And don’t try to untangle the skein, and try to figure out why he treats you the way he does”. As in my case, I don’t personalize it anymore, just tell myself that he’s just a POS and disordered. Sending you hugs and wishing you the best. ❤️