thanks.

Hoppy, when ex and I were getting divorced there was this woman - I realised he had been grooming her as a replacement for quite some time.  From before I even thought the word divorce.  She's very nice, kind and attractive, a work mate of his and been through a divorce herself.  I was very relieved that when it came to it, she turned him down.  But I did come up with a plan - if she hadn't I was going to contact her closest friend and tell her.  Not sure how that would have worked out though.

It was exactly as you say.  I found it distressing but also validating to watch him target a woman - he didn't accidentally end up with me instead of the man he wanted, I really hadn't made a mistake - he had deliberately and cold-heartedly targeted me.  

 

MJM017 wrote:

hoppyfrog wrote:

Just hoping as she is a lot younger than me, she will have the computer skills to really catch him and out him. 
 

Hello hoppyfrog,

Outing a gay person just for the sake of it is vicious. Most normal gay men and women aren't deceiving a romantic partner.

.

Hi MJM sorry if this is a long post, and sorry for I'm hijacking this topic. 
I'm just feeling a bit passionate about this. 

I wouldn't be outing him for the sake of it. 
I want him outed so my truth can be heard.
He lied and lied and lied and lied and lied.
He works in the I.T. industry.
He had a burner phone, multiple computers, multiple servers, multiple email addresses, multiple messaging apps  and he was able to create computer codes including encrpted docusments and code.
When I divorced I dicovered a secret bank account (but for legal reasons in my country I did not have access to what transactions were made) 
I discovered a fake email address that had my name at the beginning, so mail that should have been going to me, was going to him.
I discovered there were photos of text messages that he had photo shopped so it looked like he was texting a girl. 
A few years ago, he drove me so nuts, I was trying to work out who he was cheating on me with.
I thought it was a lady. 
As he disguised everything as this particular woman.
So I accused him of cheating with her.
He said "I am not cheating on you with ANY WOMAN" (he said the truth)
How was I supposed to know his trips away, urgent meeting, bizarre messages were with a man. 
I got so messed up and confused I ended up so behind on my sleep I went crazy and was placed in a mental health unit.
I was temporarily seperated from my children.
Once I got out of the health unit.
Authorities came and check my parenting, checked my home.
I was seen as a extremely good mother who was just exhausted.
They recommended my husband help out around the house more.
And that I relax and spend more time on hobbies and socialising. 
He destroyed me. 
I don't want to out him, to hurt him.
I want to out him, as that will explain to everyone why I "went crazy". 
When ever I tell people about my time in the mental health unit, everyone looks at me as say really?
Now I've left him I'm finally starting to find my strength.
But just like there are some people who choose to stay with their gay husbands for a couple of years.
I had choosen to stay quiet and let him do whatever he wants for a couple of years.
I am choosing to stay focused on myself and my kids for a couple of years.
His first girlfriend came and went quickly, I was expecting girlfriend number two would be the same.
But he has managed to lock her down pretty quick.
I don't have the energy to help this new woman in his life at this stage.
If I tried, he would just say "shes crazy"
As I legally did go "crazy" I cannot argue it. 
However
We live in a small town, so she will hear about be from others sooner or later.
The more quiet, relaxed and boring I am.
The more she will question if I am the crazy, or if there is more to his life that he has presented.

From Hoppy Frog