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- gonzo2000
- Member
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Re: Pretty Much Over It
Dear Rocky#1,
It seems GIDs choose people who have low self-esteem because they (we) are easier to manipulate, use, & abuse. We are easy to convince of being the problem in the relationship. And easy to isolate (gaslight) so that we have no friends or confidants.
Please, please for your health & that of your son, do as jkc1214 suggests: get some individual counseling as soon as possible.
Sending you strength, hugs & prayers.
- Rocky#1
- New member
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Re: Pretty Much Over It
I want to thank all of you that have responded. I did start therapy a few weeks ago and that is helping!! This support group is more helpful then I could imagine!! Today has been a rough day for me with all the sadness. I have many things to think about. I do know that I'm not going to allow to be used anymore!! Thank you all and my prayers and positive thoughts are with you too
- gonzo2000
- Member
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Re: Pretty Much Over It
Dear Rocky#1,
Sadness is healthy, so are tears & crying. You are grieving the loss of a dream, of an expected future. There will probably be days when you won't feel like getting out of bed, as I am sure your therapist will tell you.
I found exercise helped me; briskly walking the neighbourhood with (or without) a friend. Could not afford to continue the membership at the Y or the exercise classes there. And during the summer, hours of yardwork/gardening. I'd sit on an upturned bucket and dig out weeds: each weed represented the guy!! And even shoveling snow helped because it was physical.
Are you able to continue working? Or do you need time off? Are you able to take "mental health days"?
I continued volunteering in the school. And enrolled in a college program to become a qualified Educational Assistant.
Oh, and also what helped me was taking my elderly mother & aunt out for their grocery-shopping. Aunt had been married to an alcoholic and practically raised her 3 sons alone.
These activities allowed me to feel I had a good purpose for living, at a time when "the guy" tried to poison our children against me.