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August 21, 2018 12:59 pm  #11

Re: What A Surprise, He is not Gay but Bisexual

My husband came out as 'Bi' to me 19 months ago, ONLY because I found out he was having casual sex with another man for years! Then I find out he is going to gay clubs for sex with strange men AND he likes to wear fishnets while doing it! Yes, Bi is and excuse and I'm his cover. He may claim to love me and having sex with me but I think he would prefer it with men even though he will never admit to being gay. BTW, I love what Detour said.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~

August 21, 2018 10:01 pm  #12

Re: What A Surprise, He is not Gay but Bisexual

Dear Fellow Straight Sisters,

Thank you all, what strong women we are. I stopped therapy at $150 an hour and now being laid off, I can't afford it. But I feel this SSN site gives me all the support I need. But most importantly you all really get it, you all really understand the pain, the turmoil. No one else does unless they are going thru this....TGT. 

In some strange way, even though my GIDH, only admitted to being "bisexual", just him being partially truthful has really given me the push I need to move toward divorce. The mind "fu-k" game, he was playing before, had me questioning my sanity, trying to convince me it was all just a fantasy, that he was heterosexual, that all men look at gay porn, that he still desired me although no sex with me for 10 years.......I was trying to convince myself of the lies. All I wanted was the truth, I wanted him to admit he was gay, that he was sexually attracted to men, I felt with the truth, I could move on better, it would help me heal. So when he finally admitted to being attracted to men, calling it "bisexual," gave me peace. I know it sounds crazy but it gave me the courage to move towards divorce. 

I still love this man, I always will. But I now love myself more, and I demand respect, honesty, loyalty. Onward.

Hugs to you all

     Thread Starter

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