OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- Roo
- Member
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Re: I Don't Want to be A Straight Spouse
I’m with Ellexoh, you are the only ones that know I’m a “straight spouse” and I’m grateful for that. I hope someday I will be the “ex” straight spouse. This shit turns your world upside down and if my circle of friends ever knew what was going on, I’d be scared of who they would support.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
- Ellexoh_nz
- Member
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Re: I Don't Want to be A Straight Spouse
Roo wrote:
I’m with Ellexoh, you are the only ones that know I’m a “straight spouse”....
Er....actually Roo....I meant the term "straight-spouse" is one I use here, on this site. I've told certain family about my 'situation' but haven't referred to myself as a straightspouse.
I will admit though...that I thought long & hard about who, when and how I should tell my story, and I too am apprehensive about how my partners family would react..so that is a bridge I may never cross.
You'll know if, who, when and how you need to break the silence Roo xx
KIA KAHA
- Kel
- Member
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Re: I Don't Want to be A Straight Spouse
I kind of view myself as a former straight spouse. I'm currently in a marriage with a straight man, so I don't view myself as the straight half - we're both straight. But..... I still view myself as part of a special, rare group of individuals who've gone through something unique that only we seem to truly understand. It's part of why I wanted to stick around to help others going through it - because we can't get help from everyone in the same manner that we can from another straight spouse - someone who truly understands our plight. And the longer I've stuck around, reading about all our experiences, the more useful I feel - because I see the broader picture, not just my own experiences. So I view myself as someone who's gone through the straight spouse journey. It's definitely not my entire identity - I don't want it to be. Because that means so much of the other parts of my life are left under-represented. It's only a part of what I've been through.
Kel
You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.
- phoenix
- Administrator
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Re: I Don't Want to be A Straight Spouse
I'm a straight spouse. It's an experience that has shaped who I am. It's the trial and fire that I had to walk through to become the person I am today. I'm leaving a mark on the world - just a small corner of the world - but it's a way that I can impact others in a positive way.
It was the worst experience of my life, but today I'm a better person because of it.
-Formerly "Lostdad" - I now embrace the username "phoenix" because my former life ended in flames, but my new life will be spectacular.