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1 of 1- greyhound gal
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Refusing to pay
I have been kicked in the teeth yet again. We have only just started trying to sort out our separation agreement which was to get the house signed over to me. I've had a bill from my solicitor for £500 and he is refusing to pay his half. We had agreed this before he left. That I would organise the agreement and he wold sign and pay his share. He cat even do that. And its only the beginning of the process. I've had a tough week at school and was looking forward to relaxing this weekend. Now this. It is taking every ounce of self control I have not to email him a string of expletives.
Any advice?
I feel like I should just let my solicitor take over and refuse to deal with him at all.
But the sense of betrayal is over whelming. How can they change so much from the person we married? I've been so understanding through the whole thing and now I've been slapped in the face.
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: Refusing to pay
Greyhound Gal,
I also encountered something like this. Mine doesn't want to get lawyers involved, he said, because then it's all adversarial, and the only people who win are the lawyers with their big fees. So even though I'd already consulted a lawyer, and paid for the initial consultation out of my own money, and she'd told me that if we were agreed on the split of assets (which we are), then she would write it up, he could check it, and then if he wanted he could have a lawyer review it or just review it himself, and she'd file, he decided we needed to see a mediator instead, thinking it would be instead of a lawyer. Well, at the mediator's he learned that a mediator doesn't eliminate the need for a lawyer, but comes on top of one and still requires one, and that as we're agreed on the split of assets we don't need a mediator--and he said, to the mediator: If it's her lawyer, she'll be working for her, and I don't think I should have to pay for it. The same kind of "I don't want to have to pay for this divorce" thinking as your stbx is exhibiting. I told mine, in front of the mediator, well, you're welcome to get your own lawyer or to pay someone to review the papers. Privately I thought: if this were on the other foot, and it were your lawyer, you'd darned sure be wanting me to pay half! Eventually he agreed to pay half.
I think they don't want to pay for it because that's like admitting they have a responsibility for what's happened, and they don't want to admit that.
Having your solicitor take over might be, as jk peace says, the way to less anger.
I hope by now you have taken a big breath, and done something to calm down, and told yourself that yes, he's an ass. Yes, it's hard to reconcile who they were with what they become, but the sooner you can say "He's not who I thought he was" the better, as his bad behavior will cease to surprise you.
- greyhound gal
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Re: Refusing to pay
Yes, its all because he is tight fisted arsehole (new favourite word of the day). He doesn't want a solicitor because he's too mean and doesn't want to actually put his hand in his wallet.
He absolutely does not want to take responsibility for his actions.
I've emailed my solicitor to take over- and him to tell him that thats it as far as contact goes.
His response? And please try not to laugh- I'm happy to pay once its all drawn up. Please dont waste your money on solicitors.
How the hell does he think the agreement will get drawn up without one?
ARSEHOLE!
- •
Thread Starter- greyhound gal
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Re: Refusing to pay
Wondering89 wrote:
I’m sorry his being a pain and making things difficult. I’m not sure how they can change so quick. I guess when it suit them they are all happy but when it doesn’t go their way the true colours come out. I don’t think they even want to move on or they wouldn’t make things so difficult for their ex partners. I hope he pays them soon so things can be sorted out ASAP for you. I think you made the smart choice or otherwise it may take forever to finalise it all. Does your lawyer do payment plans or can you get any free legal support?
Also maybe tight fisted asshole may not be a good term lol
God, I missed that, lol. or maybe subconsciously I didn't?!
Cant get legal support sadly. Not sure about payment plans. Might be worth asking. Using my savings at the moment.
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Thread Starter