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Thu Feb 8 11:48 am  #1

Food for Thought Re "Trauma Bonding"

I am personally wary of pop psychology and throwing terms like "narcissist" around easily and freely, but I just saw this article and no matter how you might feel about casual name calling/diagnosis and armchair psychology, this does provide some food for thought about our relationships with our gay spouses. It is not about gay spouses per se, but narcissistic relationships in general; much here applies to what many of us have experienced. It popped up this morning as part of my routine Google News read.  For what it's worth:


"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" - Sir Walter Scott

Thu Feb 8 5:45 pm  #2

Re: Food for Thought Re "Trauma Bonding"

Thanks for posting, Lake Breeze.  One of the things that always stuck with me from my basic psych course in college was the power of intermittent reinforcement.  I have read about it in association with narcissistic abuse before and thought about how it was really the most fundamental scientific reason why people keep trying in these confusing relationships, especially if you are with someone with vulnerable narcissism. Once we understand what we are dealing with it all makes sense.

Last edited by Lynne (Thu Feb 8 5:47 pm)

"The maintenance of a deceptive, compartmentalized sexual reality in the context of an intimate relationship or family system is a form of domestic abuse."  
Omar Minwalla, Psy.D.

Thu Feb 8 6:46 pm  #3

Re: Food for Thought Re "Trauma Bonding"

Lynne - It's kind of scary to think that we might just be "programmed" to behave the way we do.  Just beating a dead horse over and over again, until something finally clicks about how futile it really is.

"Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive!" - Sir Walter Scott
     Thread Starter

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