OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Finally reached out

**Posted by Bec** September 1, 2017 4:29 pm

I finally reached out to my local Straight Spouse support group. I feel like I've been spinning my wheels and not getting anywhere. While my family loves me, I think it's much easier to just avoid this topic of conversation. Everyone strong enough in my circle seems to push me backwards. Tells me to try harder and give him a chance to show me it was just a porn addiction. Although I love this group and get great advice, I think I need real life, in my face support. Spoke for the first time today to someone who really understands. There seems to. E something about actually speaking the words. Hoping this will help me find the strength I need.

**Posted by phoenix** September 1, 2017 5:13 pm

That's great Bec.
Sounds like a very positive step for you. Keep us in the loop on how things are going.

**Posted by Dee** September 1, 2017 7:18 pm

That's great Bec! It was invaluable to me in the beginning. Not to mention, amazing. I was convinced I was the only one in the entire world this had ever happened to!

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** September 2, 2017 5:45 am

Bec,
I very much understand that need to have "real life, in my face" support. For me it was a step in integrating what I was thinking into decisions that became actions. I also have found that with each new person I tell, the burden of my closeted life lifts. I hope you will find the same thing.

**Posted by Duped** September 2, 2017 6:12 am

Deleted

Last edited by Duped (November 11, 2019 3:27 pm)

**Posted by Rob** September 2, 2017 6:57 am

Bec,

Yeah... TGT is hard for friends and family to process... its so hard for us and to expect anyone you tell your story to "to get it".. well.. I noticed my friends and family cared and helped a lot but they had no idea how confused and hurt I was at so many levels. I would shake with trauma just thinking about everything.

Third parties said the facts to me the best:

My therapist said it in passing "your wife is gay..do yourreally think you can fix that?.. I'll support you whatever you choose"..

My psychiatrist said ...(after I described my home life) "you are abused" ...writing a perscription for more pills.

My priest said .. "no this does not qualify for an exorcism".. "your first responsibility is to your kids"..ie I must stay in reality and do what needs to be done.

Sounds good Bec, I hope the local group can help your process things.

Last edited by Rob (September 2, 2017 6:58 am)