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Last edited by Duped (November 11, 2019 2:57 pm)

Stonehouse,

Don't worry about "intruding" here.  This forum - in my opinion - is like an open house for those dealing with gay spouse issues.  You don't have to be introduced, you don't have to have the floor.  It's just all of us walking around, talking about different subjects under the same umbrella.  The amount of voices here alone is valuable.  It shows the reader that they are not alone.  And that their situation is not unique.  There's practically a formula.  The more st8 spouse voices, the better.  We all bring different things to the table, too - some bring compassion, some ideas, some maybe a single line that inspires or speaks to a singular reader.  And that's enough.  Then there's those who are mouthy and obnoxious (yours truly).  We need ALL the voices to make this a good place for everyone.  Don't go sticking your head back in anymore.  Just jump in wherever you feel the desire to do so.  You are not a visitor - you are part of this family. 

Kel

Kel, I'm so glad you said that about us all walking around under the same umbrella.

I sometimes struggle with posting .......or rather what I'm posting, I over analysis it wondering if I'll offend someone or if someone will come back and argue with what I've said. I think the situation we find ourselves in has left a lot of us doubting ourselves, our opinions and views.

So Kel that comment has given me the confidence to feel someone may find some comfort in the odd thing I say (and in fact some have and some have actually agreed with me but I still read and re read what I'm writing before hitting Submit!!) And I've just done it again with this post!!! Oh for God's sake woman just hit Submit!!! ;-)
 

Bec wrote:

Mine claims porn addiction as well.  According to him he has no sexually desire for men at all and couldn't figure out why he watched men at all, but now it all makes since....
Problem is, I don't buy it any more. Regardless why he did it. I've lived 13 years wondering what was so wrong with me that my husband didn't want me. Wondering why sex was always so uneventful, so mechanical when it did happen( once every 3-4 months). Crying myself to sleep.... I can't unremember all that. I can't unsee what I've seen.. It's been a very slow process for me but I'm making progress.

Bec,  mine says it's porn addiction as well.  I've lived 30 years wondering what was wrong with me... right now he has started counselling.  Saying he is giving up porn, and everything will be okay in 90 days... he claims adamantly that he did not know porn could create his lack of desire for me.  He doesn't see that he has continued to make choice after choice of watching porn, lying, getting rid of the cable bills, etc to protect his sham of a marriage.  Right now- I want to move out, but financially- have moved into another room. He says he is not gay.  I still wonder....

It seems to me most of our spouses have a porn/sex addiction. I believe it stems from not being satisfied sexually so they lust after what they want through porn. Which increases the want. Then they find themselves GID AND addicted to porn/sex.