OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Is my husband gay? Cheated on me A LOT

**Posted by Kel** November 2, 2017 10:02 am

Debbie,

You're doing great in being strong. It's really good that you know how you feel, and you're not going to bend on that because you know yourself well. He likely knew you well enough to know this about you too, and yet he went ahead and did this stuff anyway. Which means it was worth the risk to him. He made his bed, he can lie in it.

You might want to consider going no contact. If what he says at this point truly doesn't matter, then you don't even need to know what he's saying. Find out how to program your phone so his calls are denied and his texts bounce back. Or if that can't be done, just stop replying to him. You're not saying anything new anyway - prove to him that you're serious when you say that he shouldn't bother sending you anything by not responding to any of it.

I would definitely recommend STD testing. And obtaining a lawyer. Then you can give him your lawyer's info for any true contact he needs with you. You may see him turn into a monster then, or you may see him disappear into the woodwork - both are typical responses. But if you're done with him, be done with him and stop letting him fly around you like a gnat.

Kel

**Posted by Debbie** November 2, 2017 12:02 pm

Hi Kel, yes have already been for std check the week after I found out ,everything clear thank god. I didn't have any contact with him for about 5 weeks ,I told him never to contact me again that he was dead to me and never wanted to see or hear his voice again and I would contact him by email in 12 months for divorce ,then he came back from working away and asked me to meet him and I went because I just wanted to get some more confirmation about other stuff I thought he'd done but had denyed ,just for myself really and I can't explain why ,he unwittingly answered some questions I asked him and I talked all calm to him ,then when I was going home he was crying and begging me to not split with him ,I just Sed I told you on the day I found out that I would never be with you ever again and that hasn't changed ,he then sent me txt and said I'd tricked him , I suppose I did really but I just wanted to hear it ,he txt me last night and was being paranoid that I'd met somebody else already and saying he loves me and how he wouldn't do it again and we could have a great life again ,I told him do not contact me ever again and if you do I will not answer. He txt me in the middle of the night and I didn't answe and will not have any contact with him now , I've barely had any contact with him since this all happened about 8 weeks ago , that is it for me and in 12 months I will divorce him. I am a bit annoyed at myself for seeing him because for a couple of days I felt like I did the day I found out but I didn't let him know that. , I'm glad I found this forum because even though i e been very strong with it , it still helps hearing about other people's story's.

**Posted by Duped** November 2, 2017 1:20 pm

You're an example to us all Debbie! You're doing amazing.

**Posted by Debbie** November 2, 2017 2:11 pm

Thanks Duped. That's a good name for on here , I said he'd duped me into thinking he was a straight guy when I married him , which they all have havnt they. Christ I used to read about things like this happening to people , never thought I'd be in this position, well I suppose non of us did , unbelievable really when I think about it.