OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Back and Forth, about to make myself crazy..........er

**Posted by maresyd** January 23, 2017 6:54 pm

Keep it up, JJ1966, You are BRAVE.

**Posted by maresyd** January 23, 2017 7:14 pm

JenS....we are all out here supporting you! Hope tomorrow is a better day.

**Posted by JJ1966** January 25, 2017 8:34 am

JenS, found another one, try, "unwritten" by natasha Bedingfield......same type of music, hopeful and full of inspiration.

**Posted by JJ1966** January 27, 2017 9:13 am

Today is a BETTER day ....Thank you maresyd

**Posted by JJ1966** January 27, 2017 9:17 am

In case I haven't said so, I don't think I would be doing as well as I am without all of you.

THANK YOU MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW

**Posted by OutofHisCloset** January 27, 2017 10:03 am

JJ,
I second that! And thank you for reviving this thread, because it's just what I needed to read this morning.

**Posted by maresyd** January 27, 2017 9:14 pm

JJ1966 and OutofHisCloset:

You are both BRAVE and STRONG. Keep going!

Hugs M

**Posted by JJ1966** March 4, 2017 9:51 am

I haven't been on in a few weeks, I have been "weathering the storm". We started packing up the house, at least the stuff he is taking with him. My soul feels like it is leaking out of my chest today. It isn't always that way, this is just a blue day. He is still going thru the motions of, "I'll come back and get you, when I'm settled", but his emails tell the truth.

I just can't argue anymore with him, the emotional bloodletting has to end. I am going to let him go with as much peace and love as I can, with whatever dignity I have left to me. I have begun boxing my things too, because I know I can't afford the house on my own. I have been looking for another place to live, I have discovered I am eligible for housing so at least I won't be living under the local bridge. As for the rest? well, one day at a time is all I can muster at this point.

With much peace and love to all.

**Posted by maresyd** March 4, 2017 10:54 am

JJ1966, keep your chin up. The sun will come out. It's a tough day today and you know tomorrow will be different. Keep focused on what your life will be like without the emotional bloodletting.

That's fantastic about the housing. You'll find a space that is just yours to heal.

You reminded me of a few lines in a poem I wrote long ago....coincidentally called the bloodletting. Maybe you'll find some comfort in the words. I understand the pain.
It is my pain to let you go now, but I must.
It is my joy to know what I’ve been the flashlight for.
It is my pain that in darkness you can’t do the same for me.
I must bleed until clean, away from poison
That destroys my inner light
Trying to be what I never will
While you walk away from all of what was built
Knowing full well what ashes you leave as you burn
As you walk I wish you peace and love.
I know in my heart this is how it must be for now,
You must understand in your own way and your own time.
Your ears cannot hear. Your eyes are closed. Your heart is not open.
Not to me.

Hugs and support to you JJ1966.

Last edited by maresyd (March 4, 2017 10:55 am)

**Posted by maresyd** March 4, 2017 2:55 pm

jkpeace....It was my therapy to write, years and years ago. I might put a blog together for links, writings, etc that can be tagged by subject so it's searchable. Stay tuned....

I'm glad you found comfort in the writing. Hugs to you.

Last edited by maresyd (March 4, 2017 7:21 pm)