OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Figuring out a path forward

**Posted by Moira** July 30, 2026 2:08 pm

The reality is that I've been in a MOM for 44 years. However, it's only been in the last year that my husband's sexual orientation has been begun to be addressed. He still is in some denial. I've been his emotional care taker for so long I don't know the path forward. He is also bipolar - so there's that to deal with. Two of my four children are also bipolar. Its a lot sometimes.

Divorcing really isn't an option financially and we do have significant affection one for another. I'm trying to figure out the path forward without being swallowed up.

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 30, 2026 3:05 pm

Moira welcome to our Forum. You have been unknowingly living a lie for many years and obviously have borne the burden of something you weren't allowed to understand. Plus having 2 neurodivergent children to bring up. It's all very unfair that you find this out at a time of life that should be a slowing down, not the Mindfuck it has become.

But you will get through this. Significant affection is actually the best basis to not totally destroy any chance of working this out amicably.

I hope you have a good friend or family member you can talk to about your options. As well as the Forum you need face to face conversations with people you trust. You have decisions to make and the fact you're both okay with each other could possibly mean you can have honest, meaningful dialogue with him.

I lived with my former partner for 3 yrs before we separated. No intimacy, we were comfortably living together until I finally felt it was time to leave

Please keep reading the Forum and get advice from women who have been where you find yourself.

Elle

**Posted by Moira** September 9, 2026 2:55 pm

Thank you, Elle. Your insightful statement meant more to me than you know. I still quote a form of it almost daily.

You have been unknowingly living a lie for many years and obviously have borne the burden of something you weren't allowed to understand.

There is so much context here and it has provided a framework that I've only begun to make sense of. Thank you.

I've not been on the boards more than a handful of times as I am just too overwhelmed most days.

Thank you.