OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / I did it

**Posted by Thelight** June 23, 2024 12:24 pm

He approached me this morning to work on us I told him no. I told him I don’t love him like a wife should love a husband and I was done. I told him he needed to find his happiness without me and vice versa. Now we move to separation. We have a garage apartment that he asked if he could stay in. Of course I said yes. We will focus on paying off bills being as kind to one another as possible for the boys. I pray I can do this. I pray that he doesn’t come crying and begging I can’t handle that and always fold.

**Posted by Anon 765** June 23, 2024 12:34 pm

Hi Thelight,

That was brave of you! I don't know if congratulations is the right word, but good for your for having the courage to end things. I shared a house civilly with my ex for a year after I initiated the separation, and it was not ideal, but it was manageable. Sometimes that just makes the most financial sense.

One thing I did that was really helpful was write myself a list of reasons why I needed to end the marriage. I put a big post-it on it that said "Read this when you doubt!" It helped a lot to go back to the list and remind myself of everything that was not working, and that could never be fixed.

You can do this.

Anon 765

**Posted by Thelight** June 23, 2024 3:59 pm

Anon 765 wrote:
Hi Thelight,

That was brave of you! I don't know if congratulations is the right word, but good for your for having the courage to end things. I shared a house civilly with my ex for a year after I initiated the separation, and it was not ideal, but it was manageable. Sometimes that just makes the most financial sense.

One thing I did that was really helpful was write myself a list of reasons why I needed to end the marriage. I put a big post-it on it that said "Read this when you doubt!" It helped a lot to go back to the list and remind myself of everything that was not working, and that could never be fixed.

You can do this.

Anon 765

I’m going to do that because he’s already starting to beg to stay and stay husband and wife as friends. I said no. If everyone is the praying type I ask that you pray that he gets a grip and reality that it is over.

**Posted by lily** June 23, 2024 6:32 pm

I don't know what your situation is but generally speaking the hardest part of separating is reaching a financial separation. If he is anything like my ex then the chances are he is already thinking about what his finances will look like after a split.

wishing you lots of good luck, this is a tough time in your life.