Anon2222 wrote:

So, my ex-husband turned into a monster. He was completely incapable of any form of kindness. Honestly, I think he would kill me if he had the chance. I have struggled hard with this. I know divorce is awful, but he took it to the next level and aimed for total world annihilation. 

So far it has cost me $30,000 in legal bills. I pray I am getting to the end of the process. At this point, you would think I would be immune to his toxicity....except I have spent the last few hours crying. Unfortunately, I am being forced to be in contact with him for the sale of the property (in mediation I actually got told I was the one that had to communicate better) and having his hatred slam into me again is just destroying my mental health. I've reached the point where I would sell the place at a loss just to get away.

I am so tired of being the punching bag. These people are evil. I look at everything all the straight spouses do, all the sacrifices, the support....and then we just get them yelling in our face that nothing we did was good enough, everything we did was wrong, and everything is all our fault.

Omg 30K ! Do you have minor kids ?
I feel exactly the same ! Now I just notice how the straight spouses interact ! How much they give and care for each other! While I had to hear to listen to years of complaints about everything in me !

I told him his sexuality is the root cause of all this but I actually think he would rather be with anyone else men,women or anyone in between ! I discovered msgs to his previous colleague telling her that he misses his days with her and the smart lady ignored him !

All these years of being told that I'm not enough ...I confronted him and he said this is not the issue!!

So if you say you want to sell at loss ,I understand!!

If he used combined savings to create a business, you have an ownership stake. On the assumption you want no part of the ownership, he should be reimbursing your portion.

Don't let him off the hook financially when it comes to providing for his kids. This is where a lawyer protects your interests.

As for mediation, I think it's really for people who are amicably separating. As soon as one person can't trust the other one to be fair, mediation is probably of little value.

Lostperson wrote:

I honestly don't care about child support .I have been paying for food,clothes,school,child care and activities !! he pays mortgage and household bills.

He used all our savings to create his company last year !

I'm so angry , I don't mind paying for my children for life but I just feel I gave away everything and destroyed my life with my own hands.

Lostperson:
    Fight for what you want: your children.  That includes their future, so don't give away your and their future just to get away.  You can tell the lawyer that you would like an option--one that is still equitable--that allows you to see him or interact with him as little as possible.  

Update :

He is acting crazy ...one minute he is telling me that he wants to do whatever I want and the other he says all this is old and he doesn't mind people knowing but (it's a past thing and not current) ..he tone is becoming more aggressive .

I think he will try to find some other stupid woman to believe his stories !

Lost in the Closet wrote:

Lost person, 
I am so sorry he keeps flipping the narrative on you. This messes with our heads and makes us question ourselves. Remember to keep the focus on your needs and your wants. 

Many GID husbands find a new women to stay in the closet. I am the second wife and my husband is not coming out of the closet easily.

It's so unfair to involve innocent people in that !!! We are not even divorced yet but he is acting like everything is gonna be ok!

I will tell any other woman he gets involved with if I can. He is acting like it's in the past and it has been less than a month since I discovered this !