I just keep replaying the last 8 months of conversations and interactions in my head. At this point we are getting along, but I know this is not what I want.  I feel as though I need to break away now.  I need to not worry about hurting him the boys etc.  i just want to fast forward and get to where we can be friends.  I’m not a person that likes to live angry.  It’s just I don’t understand when I focus on his faults of the marriage ssa porn use anger he just turns it around and says I hurt him through the marriage I’m not sure how.  I think it is a lifetime of just resentment knowing that he is ssa and can’t truely have a heterosexual relationship.  Again I think it was doomed from the start looking back but I can’t take that away.  It seems as though in a true straight marriage couples would be able to work out our silly differences (take away his issues).  I’m getting there. Do I just say I want out I want a divorce I love you and care about you but not in a husband way??  These questions seems so minor I’m just new to all this, well 8 months in.