OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Name calling

**Posted by Bella32658** July 18, 2023 9:02 am

GH is now resorting to name calling in order to put me down. After trying to convince me one night that he was very physically attracted to me when we started dating he's now saying I am unfeminine and butch. I am not. After 20 years I still have some of the same clothes I wore back then. Same hair too. Usually pulled back in a pony tail. I was always an athletic type, but I look around at the other moms at practice and school pickup and I dress just like them. Same level of effort of makeup and hair and similar clothes.

I mean we all compare ourselves to others normally, but you really do after a comment like that. It was just mean.

**Posted by gwendolyn_C** July 18, 2023 11:56 am

Bella32658 - don't allow him to question your femininity, self-esteem, and self-worth! He is clearly exposed and using every tactic, including gaslighting, to get under your skin. See this for what it is...his way to gain control of the situation!

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** July 18, 2023 1:33 pm

Bella32658 wrote:
....GH is now resorting to name calling in order to put me down

His name-calling can only continue to prove to you that this man was never who you thought him to be.

I learned to let all the things A. did that made me feel less of a person...wash over me but first it had to " not matter ". That was the hard part. Deciding that my life was more important to me than it was to him and would probably never change if I stayed.

Elle

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (July 18, 2023 2:40 pm)

**Posted by Anon42** July 18, 2023 4:45 pm

Bella32658 wrote:
GH is now resorting to name calling in order to put me down. After trying to convince me one night that he was very physically attracted to me when we started dating he's now saying I am unfeminine and butch.

That's terrible what he's doing to you, sorry about that.
I'm coming to the conclusion that you shouldn't trust what your gay spouse is saying (or even not saying about you). You should pay more attention to opinions of more trustworthy people.

My gay wife has only said nice things about me (well, that and that she has 0 sexual desire for me, and wants to date other women), but even still I have deep doubts about how much of a man I am. I can imagine how much worse you might feel. But you need to learn to ignore his opinion on this matter.

**Posted by Blackie563** July 18, 2023 6:32 pm

Im sorry you have to experience this. My gay ex wife initially only said good things about me. As I learned more about her MANY lies, it then changed. Once I exposed her for the liar she is, then I was a "dumb mother fucker" and "never did anything right" and other comments around my kids to try to turn them against me. I'm unbothered. Why? Because my kids are old enough to know its not true and they will/do see their mother for what she is, and its very sad. Her choices though.. Hang in there. Your value does not decrease because of one persons inability to see it.