Saw my lawyer today. She asked me to get more bank statements, which was easy because her office is just round the corner from the bank. This is to check if A. has any account that money from our joint account is going into. She'll work it all out and come up with a proposal but this is a man who's getting good money, and will work til he drops so she may ask for more for me. And I feel sort of....wrong?....about it all. I know I shouldn't but I feel like I'm....oh! I don't know....like a bad person. I know I'm not!!!

Elle

I am still in the process of sorting out the divorce settlement. I keep going back and forth on spousal support. He makes twice what I do, my lifestyle is built on the dual income, and I have significant expenses related to my health (and I am going to lose his benefits, so I will now have to pay out of pocket for everything). I am not eligible for my own benefits (believe me, I have tried). 

And yet....somehow....I still feel guilty and wrong for requesting spousal support. And feel like I should accept the lowest amount for the shortest period....

It really is the strangest feeling.

Rob, Anon, Lily and Mj....

Rob....yes, I too have thought "where would I be in 5 years if I don't make the break now?" (I read your comment in Fcl's thread. Good advice Rob)

Anon....we have a good health system here, I empathise with your situation. Yeah isn't it crazy to feel like we're less as far as asking for more goes!

Lily...I think it's simply the good ole ".....I've never really contributed financially so don't feel I deserve more". My lawyer said there's a discrepancy of about $25.000 with me getting less of course. My heads just not shaped to cope with all the numbers lol

Mj.... I commented to the lawyer that my life insurance (which A has always paid into) could be transferred into our children's names. 
"no one will arrest you if you're not nice" I like that

E

LostAtSea wrote:

You don’t know someone till you divorce them. I totally believe this.

I just received another lawyers bill for $800 !@#$%^ (thanks Mum....I couldn't do it without her estate money)

E
 

Otter wrote:

Your post/this thread is really helping me- thank you. I’ve felt so alone these past few months. I have support from a tight group of friends/family along with a therapist and a lawyer, but it’s not the same as learning from those who are walking the same path.

 

Otter....welcome to our Forum Thank you for the thank you. 
5-6 years ago....I couldn't breathe. Today I take deep breaths and know I am almost through the storm.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain, when you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” ~ Haruki Murakami ~
 
Elle