LostAtSea wrote:

I am so sorry this has happened to you.

This is exactly how it happened to me after 16 years and 12 married. I moved across the country bc of “his” job and knew not one single soul. He ambushed me with a phone call when he was out of state. I didn’t even get a face to face not much less the truth that would change my life. So I know the feeling of being alone. We all do.

Is there a friend or family you can call? Speak to someone  you trust besides her family and friends.

The initial stages are full of hurt and anger and loneliness. Post here as often as you wish and take care of yourself. Go outside and leave your residence as much as you can. Even for a small walk or treat yourself to a good cup of coffee.

There are local straight support groups that will often zoom once a week for group support.

Be well. We’re all here to support you!

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me. It genuinely means a lot.

I have my father still alive and one brother, both of whom I've talked to and it has helped. As I said, and you sympathized with, it's really that sense of alone-ness that is hurting the most.

I have been for the past month or so losing weight and trying to be more self confident, initially to try to respark the intimacy between my wife and I... And I'll continue those good habits.

Thank you for at the least letting me vent and not feel alone for a brief respite.

Daryl wrote:

You can use this forum multiple ways. There's a lot of collective wisdom here if you want to browse topics. You can ask questions. You can vent. Whatever you need.

You mentioned moving to start a family? No need to be specific, but are there any kids you need to provide for? Is there any reason you shouldn't move back to familiar ground? I'm not suggesting a quick cut and run. It could be a longer term plan. Is this state where you want to reside once you are divorced?
 

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me.

We fortunately do not have kids. We had a traumatic miscarriage, but no children.

With regards to moving to familiar ground, my largest issue is I don't have 'familiar ground'. I have no surviving family or friends that are in the US. I would be starting anew elsewhere. I genuinely appreciate the question and concern though.

As of now, my short term plan is to find a salaried remote job so that I can maintain ownership of one of our two dogs that is attached to me. Otherwise, I will have to forgo ownership, which will be devastating.

Last edited by kellybridges (September 27, 2022 11:03 pm)

I am sorry to hear about the miscarriage.

Kellybridges, welcome.  I see that what you are going through is largely the same as what everyone else here is going through, including Elle.  And, as you can already see, we have a variety of personalities and stories and experiences.

But as a support forum, you should be aware that many of us do actually get triggered when non straight people come here to discuss their same sex attraction.  It can ruffle feathers.  Just fyi.