Upside,

He knows we’re on thin ice and that I don’t fully trust him right now... at least he did as of a few weeks ago. But asking to see his phone and reminding him again that I don’t trust him and have my guard up still will 100% cause problems. No matter how gentle I am, he always gets very defensive and annoyed when I bring anything up. An hour long conversation can cause a week or month of domestic problems... and we have small children so unfortunately I do need to tiptoe a bit.

I will likely take your advice and ask at some point, but I’m going to need to take some time to work myself up to it and mentally prepare for the consequences.