Posted by Lauradeem  March 25, 2022 4:31 am | #1 |
I have been with my husband for 16 years married for 11. We have always got on well and had lots of great times. We have two young daughters. Two weeks ago he just blurted out he was bisexual, I felt like my world had come to an end I didn’t even know this man anymore. He hasn’t been interested in anything physical for a long time and made excuses. He usto sit up after I’d gone to bed and say he still had work to do or somthing to watch on tv. I usto get quite upset about hun not wanting me but he never said anything. Everything else was ok he was a good father , a good provider, worked hard, and he said he loved me.
But the day he told me I felt every kind of emotion I was angry and immediately thought it’s over as I did not marry a bisexual man. We went over the next week not really talking and crying etc then I thought maybe I could deal with it and at least try for the kids. It lasted 24 hours before he then said he couldn’t do it and he didnt want to hurt me anymore. So we decided to separate. We will have to continue living together for a while while we sort finances. I am just at a loss some days I am ok others I am angry upset hurt and crying myself to sleep.
He said he came to terms with it 5 years ago but didn’t tell me. I feel like he’s stolen 5 years of my life and taken my choices away. But I still do love him it’s such a rollercoaster of emotions.
I can’t even imagine myself with anyone else and the thought of dating terrifys me.
Any advice on how to get over this and move on?
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Posted by Gloria March 25, 2022 7:49 am | #2 |
I am so sorry that you find yourself in this most difficult situation. I am glad that he told you. My ex gay boyfriend would never admit that he is a homosexual. I stayed with him for a year during Covid. You can get over this and move on but it will take time. I am holding a good thought for you.
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Posted by lily March 25, 2022 11:27 am | #3 |
Hi Laura,
I will admit my first thought was you've been cheated of 16 years not 5!
Sorry to say it but the 'came to terms with it 5 years ago' could mean he's been sexually active outside the marriage for that long. Anyway, whether he has or hasn't, a trip to the doctor is a good place to start. I told my doctor everything and he gave me a general check up and arranged counselling for me.
it is a rollercoaster, for sure. And just the thought of being back in the dating pool is at least as teffifying as it is exciting Don't worry about how to recover though, it will happen, it's homeostasis - naturally you will recover your balance once you are no longer being knocked off balance.
Do you have family near by that you can talk to? you will need as much help and support as you can get as soon as possible to ensure you get a good deal financially.. He will have thought through all this already, it's like you've been blindsided.
wishing you all the best, Lily
