Posted by Victo  December 27, 2021 9:33 pm | #1 |
Hi All-
Wanted to discuss the recent AppleTV+ Musical show called Schmigadoon. The whole show is thematically about the concept of soulmates - as the two main characters question their bond and experiment with the possibilities of love with other characters around them.
Meanwhile, one of the subplots involves two male characters in the town who are both GID and married to women.
In the end, (SPOILERS) these two men hook up with each other and leave their wives behind.
The two wives could not be more different. One of them loves her husband and wants him happy. In her confusion about the non-sexual nature of her relationship, she sings an amazing song:
“He’s a Queer One, That Man of Mine”
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-ACXR7H-AbA
This character is long suffering and loves her husband despite the fact that he clearly knows about his own sexuality and has kept the truth from her.
In the End, her needs are forgotten as the audience is supposed to celebrate the male character’s coming out.
Meanwhile, the other female character is so wicked and evil, that the audience is supposed to feel relief for her GID husband finally admitting his own sexuality.
Two straight spouses in this show and both are cardboard cutout characters who are expected to have no sexual needs of their own. And that is supposed to be okay.
These straight spouse depictions are as flimsy as character of color depictions were in the 1930s-1980s.
The media is getting the straight spouse experience wrong!
Last edited by Victo (December 28, 2021 11:02 am)
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Posted by Ellexoh_nz December 28, 2021 1:35 am | #2 |
Yip you're talking about a show though. The people behind it aren't there to portray real life, and the heartbreak that goes along with it. It's all about $$$$, and drama, effect and ratings.
Are the people in this show all good-looking and "fabulous darling"!? I bet they are.
Not my type of drama or entertainment. But there will always be people who have no idea about what is like to be a Straightspouse and who don't even know about the casualties of an LGBTQ 'coming out'
Edited to add...I mean look I was just now looking for something to watch on Netflix and came across a series called Trace. Episode one has two gay men kissing and making out. Beautifully-formed bodies, toned and looking awesome. I see this as the LGBTQ community, and the people who know what kind of entertainment makes money, wanting their lives to be seen as normal as heterosexuals. Doesn't mean I have to buy into it. Or watch it
Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (December 28, 2021 2:07 am)
KIA KAHA
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Posted by Victo December 28, 2021 10:17 am | #3 |
You are correct, Elle, that I’m talking about entertainment - slick, Hollywood style shows designed for mass appeal.
The audience for Schmigadoon is not LGBTQ. It is a mainstream show for a mainstream audience.
This is why it is so galling that the straight spouse experience is reduced to a joke - a punchline - in order to facilitate the loving depiction of homosexuality. ‘He’s a queer one, that man of mine’ is a song about her searching for the truth about her own sexless marriage. But even in the moments where she vocalizes the confusion and pain and disappointment that comes along with being sandbagged and lied to by one’s most intimate partner, she imagines her GIDH being happy somehow. She wants him to be himself - with zero thought or vocalization about her own needs.
In other words, her lot in life is to love and support him through his journey no matter the consequences for her.
Media depictions matter. Media depictions often become one of the primary ways people interpret other cultures and lifestyles. And, while the media has collectively spent some of the last decade trying to fix its worst racial and gender stereotyping depictions, it has not yet figured out a way to not use straight spouse’s deepest pain as punchlines.
The straight spouse experience is often a punchline:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=AswY1cRDIgo
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Posted by lily December 28, 2021 1:27 pm | #4 |
Victo, you are right. The straight spouse's pain is disacknowledged and we get made fun of in the mainstream.
I escaped from the source of my own pain but I did not escape from it in my life. The true horror for me is seeing it happen with a family member and knowing that if I say anything that will be it for me and so I don't but then I become part of it.
imo it's the closet lesbians more than anyone that have a stranglehold on everyone.
perhaps a comedy show about a group of closet lesbians where we watch them square off against each other would hit the spot.
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Posted by walkbymyself December 28, 2021 3:43 pm | #5 |
I'd rather not watch, Victo ... based on your description ... but I'm wondering why they took the name from "Brigadoon" which doesn't have anything to do with anything they're depicting.
There was a time when GLAAD used to advocate for healthier depictions of gays and lesbians in media. I've long thought we should be doing the same thing -- we should be out there, asking for meetings with producers and studio heads, letting them know their narrative is damaging to us.
On edit: I googled, and now I see. "Brigadoon" was a musical about a town that vanishes and only reappears once every 100 years, two backpackers stumble across it, guy falls in love, etc. So it looks like "Schmigadoon" took the parody concept; they ended up in a magical 1940's musical.
Last edited by walkbymyself (December 28, 2021 3:46 pm)
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Posted by OutofHisCloset December 28, 2021 4:54 pm | #6 |
walkbymyself wrote,
"...we should be out there, asking for meetings with producers and studio heads, letting them know their narrative is damaging to us."
Well, today I was interviewed by a filmmaker who has already made a film, a documentary, called "Dysphoric," and is now making a film on trans widows (women whose husbands declare a transgender identity).
Our stories do not make it into the mainstream, but they are, slowly, being told--witness the podcasts here on the SSN (OurPath).
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Posted by Victo December 28, 2021 7:58 pm | #7 |
OutofHisCloset wrote:
Well, today I was interviewed by a filmmaker who has already made a film, a documentary, called "Dysphoric," and is now making a film on trans widows (women whose husbands declare a transgender identity).
I’m curious. How was it? What is the filmmaker’s take on the issue? How did they find you? How did they conduct the interview? When is it coming out?
Last edited by Victo (December 28, 2021 7:58 pm)
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Posted by OutofHisCloset December 28, 2021 10:17 pm | #8 |
I found out about it from a notice on the Mumsnet transwidows thread. I contacted the email and she contacted me. They are in preliminary exploratory interviews, so I don't expect the film will be out for some months. She may not use my material; it'll depend on how it fits with the stories of the other women she is interviewing. It was a zoom interview.
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Posted by Ellexoh_nz December 29, 2021 1:24 am | #9 |
You are correct, Elle, that I’m talking about entertainment - slick, Hollywood style shows designed for mass appeal.....
Well... If you're not going to go out there and confront the money-makers and be a spokesperson for the Straightspouse you'll be just like most of us... Content to concentrate on making our lives matter to us and not the beast that is public opinion because I honestly think the majority needs to come to the realization that we exist.,. In their own time.
And in my opinion it won't happen in my lifetime
Elle
KIA KAHA
