OurPath (formerly SSN) Open Forum / Counselling/therapy needs of straight partners

**Posted by RedEarth** November 6, 2021 11:03 am

Hello,
I am a counsellor with a specialism in issues relating to sexual orientation and gender identity. Over the years I have worked with several M/F couples in which the male partner has come out. I'm currently working on a qualification in sexology (aka psychosexual therapy), as part of which I need to complete a research project. I want to investigate the therapeutic needs of straight partners and the extent to which they are adequately met within current services - and I have a particular interest in the needs of straight female partners, as these are the clients with whom I have had most first-hand professional experience. If there's anything that you'd like to share in this forum please do - I will share a link to enable you to contact me away from the forum as soon as I am able. I'm interested in a) what you might have hoped to gain from counselling/therapy, either as an individual or as a couple, b) the experience you had of attempting to finding a suitable practitioner, c) how effective/beneficial you found your therapy and d) anything that you would want the therapy professional as a whole to be aware or do in order to better meet the needs of straight partners.
Many thanks.

**Posted by lily** November 6, 2021 12:43 pm

sorry but I have to be rude - you've just failed at the starting gate as far as I'm concerned, The topic is based around identity, you are happy to identify your target group, and yet you're not declaring?

okay, so I am going to have a guess - gay female. Possibly in denial.

how did I do?

Last edited by lily (November 6, 2021 12:47 pm)

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 6, 2021 12:58 pm

This is a forum for straightspouses not counselors

Lily what was it that tipped you off this person was gay?

Elle

**Posted by Victo** November 6, 2021 4:35 pm

Only people on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum go into ‘gender studies’. It was designed as a safe space major for people who didn’t otherwise fit in with traditional areas of study. That’s why you gravitate to it.

As you may be able to deduce, this forum is a safe space for Straight Spouses and Straight partners of lgbtq types who have likely been deceitful.

Deceit of the nature of closeted lgbtq people taking Straight partners tends to leave a ton of psycho-sexual damage in its wake, so you will find justifiably angry Straight people here.

So after what many here have been through, perhaps you can understand why they do not wish to be further poked and prodded by your gender study, regardless of whether the intellectual information could be of benefit to all…

**Posted by Daryl** November 6, 2021 6:07 pm

RedEarth, I believe you should discuss this with the people in charge BEFORE you come here looking for someone to assist in the research project you claim to be doing. You have no credentials we can validate, yet you want to hand out links to people for outside the board contact. I highly doubt anyone here will want to be in direct contact with an unknown party that has not been vetted by OurPath. These are very personal situations and we always stress to people to not reveal identifying information.

Last edited by Daryl (November 6, 2021 6:10 pm)

**Posted by lily** November 6, 2021 6:53 pm

it's just a guess, Elle - though now you ask, just about everything in the post!

of course the hell of it is that now I have said it how can s/he say s/he's straight even if s/he is, why would we believe it.

**Posted by Helpme25** November 6, 2021 7:04 pm

RedEarth wrote:
Hello,
I am a counsellor with a specialism in issues relating to sexual orientation and gender identity. Over the years I have worked with several M/F couples in which the male partner has come out. I'm currently working on a qualification in sexology (aka psychosexual therapy), as part of which I need to complete a research project. I want to investigate the therapeutic needs of straight partners and the extent to which they are adequately met within current services - and I have a particular interest in the needs of straight female partners, as these are the clients with whom I have had most first-hand professional experience. If there's anything that you'd like to share in this forum please do - I will share a link to enable you to contact me away from the forum as soon as I am able. I'm interested in a) what you might have hoped to gain from counselling/therapy, either as an individual or as a couple, b) the experience you had of attempting to finding a suitable practitioner, c) how effective/beneficial you found your therapy and d) anything that you would want the therapy professional as a whole to be aware or do in order to better meet the needs of straight partners.
Many thanks.

I need therapy idk where to start.

**Posted by Daryl** November 6, 2021 10:58 pm

Helpme, you don't start with anonymous people on the internet. You might want to start with your doctor, see if they have recommendations. You can also reach out via the methods on the OurPath support page - https://ourpath.org/personal-support/

**Posted by Helpme25** November 7, 2021 2:40 am

Daryl wrote:
Helpme, you don't start with anonymous people on the internet. You might want to start with your doctor, see if they have recommendations. You can also reach out via the methods on the OurPath support page - https://ourpath.org/personal-support/

Thank you

**Posted by Ellexoh_nz** November 7, 2021 12:54 pm

Sent to Admin..
"This member says she is a counsellor. I don't think our forum is the correct place for her to drum up business or use straightspouses for her 'qualification' research"